SKIDMORE COLLEGE — According to recent reports, that guy who went to your high school has changed drastically since arriving to college.
In addition to taking on a new nickname and cutting his hair, eyewitnesses claim that he is attempting to grow a beard and no longer wears clothes from Target. Allegedly, he has also started smoking cigarettes.
“Yeah, I’ve been smokin’ for a while now, addicted really,” he said, in between hacking coughs. “Gotta have that sweet nicotine burn.”
Despite claims to the contrary, you do not remember him being this way in high school, where he had greasy long hair and starred as Mr. Applegate in the school-wide production of Damn Yankees.
Skidmore, you treated me pretty well in my four years at your bosom so I am going to give this to you straight. Please do not make a novelty admissions video.
Yes, I know that Yale did one and still somehow manages to be a reputable institution (ed. note - questionable assumption) but I am still reeling from the embarrassment wrought by Saratoga’s “lip-dub” and I don’t think I can handle seeing a hand-selected, multi-ethnic student cohort dancing across Case Patio singing your praises.
You see, down here in Brooklyn, I play The Name Game about 5 nights a week and when I tell people I went to Skidmore I don’t want the first thing that pops into their mind to be the inevitable Gawker article about how absolutely insufferable and willingly precocious we are. It is hard enough to get laid as it is. I am begging you, please do not make a novelty admissions video.
I know that it may seem like a cool idea, like a way for you to “go viral” and “get some hits on your homepage” but I can assure you that making a novelty admissions video is a terrible idea. I do not want to be drastic but I know how alluring the pull of ”internet cuteness” can be and I just want to remind you that my reputation, for better or worse, is largely invested in your reputation and because of that I kindly ask you, please do not make a novelty admissions video.
2 days left to make a lasting artistic impression on Skidmore’s campus, work with cool people, learn how to maintain your creativity and individuality while working on a ‘commissioned’ piece (i.e. good life lessons for an art major in the real world), and teach people about a veritable environmental and technological miracle living right below our very feet…
So you know how Iran is threatening to close the Strait of Hormuz and severely screw up the world’s oil supply? Remember how that huge BP oil spill in the Gulf was ridiculously expensive (not to mention impossible) to clean up? Heard about the social justice issues surrounding hydrofracking and the Keystone XL pipeline from the mouths of Cuomo and Obama?
We could really use some new energy sources, because our current ones get us into a lot of trouble.
Thankfully, three student organizers and your very own Skidmore Sustainability Coordinator spent last semester putting together the New Energy Economy Forum, a day’s worth of clean energy experts, business owners, NYSERDA lawyers, National Grid representatives, conservationists, and the like – along with best-selling author Jeff Goodell – speaking about clean energy technology, the future of the industry, and what you can do to get a slice of the pie while being good to the planet.
Plus there’s a career workshop prior to the event that will set you up to mingle like the best of them. Do I smell a chance to network with leaders in a lucrative, growing sector of the energy and conservation industry, or is that just what the atmosphere smells like without coal and natural gas emissions?
But seriously, go to it and you’ll learn how your future homeowner-self can save money, and maybe you’ll even get a job. All students are welcome to attend, especially non-ES kids, because everyone deserves to be on the cutting edge.
When and where?
2/15/2012 – Career Workshop in Bolton 280 @ 7pm
2/16/2012 – Jeff Goodell keynote in Gannett @ 7pm
2/17/2012 – NEEF in Gannett & Bolton @ 12-6pm (register online)
In an attempt to appeal to a more conservative audience and distance itself from liberal vegans, NPR has been running a few stories about good ol’ American meat.
During the last week this has led to the emergence of an unlikely love triangle between NPR, Skidmore alums, and slaughtered pigs…
Bruce reported earlier this week on Andrew Plotsky and butchering. Here’s a another meaty story on alum Molly Baz who, along with Mikaela Bloomberg, used to treat lucky students, faculty, and Saratogians to gourmet meals.
We’re a bit late to this one but it’s kind of weird, right? We can only hope that the administration takes note and replaces Macrury with this.
A nice little writeup about Skidmore alum Andrew Plotsky and his project Farmrun from NPR: How One Former Vegan Learned To Embrace Butchering. So keep dreaming big dreams about changing the system, boys and girls, because we need to and it tastes good.
The Art and Environmental Studies departments are collaborating on a project to ‘make visible the invisible success’ that is geothermal heating and cooling. Sound sexy? Not necessarily, although the system saves the school thousands and thousands of dollars and is good for the planet, and it would be a great challenge to create a sculpture/mural/string installation/what have you that calls attention to something really cool. Which is why you should do it.
Talk to your potential advisor and register for a class this semester by Jan. 25th.
Here’s the video that explains it all (although admittedly not as well as Clarissa would):
If you think you MIGHT be interested, check it out, because it’s for a great cause, you could leave your mark, and oh yeah, there’s tons of funding available for supplies. Freebies FTW.
It’s approaching– that time of the year when it’s suddenly clear to me why I’m even at Skidmore in the first place: The National College Comedy Festival.
This year the event will take place on February 10th and 11th, will host eighteen college comedy groups from the Northeast. The professional groups that will attend this year are TJ & Dave, Bleak! Comedy and BriTaNick. If you don’t know who at least one of these groups are, get out from under that rock that you seem to have internet access at, and learnsomeknowledge.
More details will be provided as the event date approaches, but in the meantime continuedoingyourhomework.
Dear Lucy is SkidmoreUnofficial.com’s advice column, dutifully penned by A Dude and A Lady. You can send your questions and concerns toDearLucy@SkidmoreUnofficial.com.
DEAR LUCY,
I start my final semester of college in two weeks and I am panicking. I don’t feel prepared to be a “real person” and I am terrified of losing my friends. I don’t have a job, I don’t know where I am going to live and everyone I know is thinking of moving to a different city. What’s a girl to do?
-Second Semester Scaredy-Cat
DEAR SECOND SEMESTER SCAREDY-CAT
Let us begin with some assurance that you are not alone in your current state of terror and anxiety. Across the country, millions of college seniors are shaking with similar unease, just as they have for centuries. You should be proud to be part of such a historic tradition of anxiety—it is the American way.
We cannot even begin to describe what anxiety-ridden messes A Dude and I were second semester of our senior year. I was frantically replying to every craigslist ad I could find, constantly talking to friends about where and with whom they were going to live and reading through a pretty steady diet of the job market doomsday reports the New York Times is so fond of running. If you stack all of that on top of a course load and a social life (tryna get my drink on!) you’re going to end up weeping in front of your Adderall dealer at 4am on a Tuesday because, you still need to revise your cover letter, which, of course, is not something you want to do.
ED can be a touchy subject to discuss with your partner
Last week, a small group of high school seniors in suburbs everywhere jammed their sweaty, shaking hands into their mailboxes and pulled out a big, fat early decision acceptance letter from Skidmore College. Congrats to the newfangled Class of 2016!
If you’re an accepted student (or just a regular one), the Skidmore 2016 Facebook group is live for your stalking pleasures. I would also suggest studying the Skidmore Unofficial Freshmen Orientation Guide, because when Pre-Or rolls around and you’re the only motherfucker who knows where to buy forties in town, you’ll make more friends (whom you’ll quickly forget) than you ever thought possible.
But before all that happens, I urge you all to cherish that final semester of high school. You will have the satisfaction of doing little to no work, staying up late for the rest of the year, smoking weed during free periods, and gloating that you’re officially enrolled in college, while your suicidal friends get rejected by other, more prestigious Northeastern universities.
