Yes. It’s a fun day. People are excited. Stay safe and clean up your fucking trash.
Ah, yes. It’s finally time to begin preparing for Fun Day weekend. Classes are winding down, the weather is improving, and everyone on campus is ready to blow off a little (a lot) of steam. With a crazy busy weekend of debauchery ahead, we figured you should all get a quick rundown on how you should prepare and how it’ll all go down.
Get all of your homework done. Seriously. The last thing you’ll want to do is school work the day after Fun Day. Even if you’re not planning on drinking Saturday, everyone in your life will be either exhausted, hung over, sunburnt, or some combination of the three. It’s best to get things out of the way and give yourself time to recuperate and to watch Netflix. Also, it’s a great chance to talk with your friends about who’s buying what alcohol for the weekend, where you’re pregaming (and gaming), and the easiest way to eat a hearty breakfast.
The Happening. It’s Lively Lucy’s crazy ridiculous ’60s art throwback to the times of Andy Warhol and recreational acid tripping in the East Village. It’s at Falstaff’s. Way more clubs than you can count come together for wacky, zany cross-pollenated artistic activities. And if you’re not into that type of thing, take this as your last chance to get your work done for the weekend and to rest up.
Get your booze! Get your food! Take the time when you’re done with classes to stock up on your Fun Day supplies. This includes (but isn’t limited to) alcohol, hearty breakfast food, mid-day snacks, an opaque water bottle, SUNSCREEN, enough cigarettes to get you through a week (trust me), a backpack, whatever other substances you plan on consuming, and potentially a parasol. By this point you should know who you’re partying with and where, too. And at night, it’s the Tang Party! Go take a walk outside the Tang and check out some sweet student art installations. It’s also featuring a pretty sweet lineup of student bands that aren’t on the Fun Day roster: Psymon Spine, Pooch, Triceracops, and Queen Ambrosia. While it may be your natural inclination to drink to your heart’s content on a Friday night, we advise building up to a very slight buzz and stopping there. You’re going to consume a lot of alcohol on Fun Day, and you want to give your body time to flush out whatever you’ve been drinking the night before, so make sure it’s not too much.
Yes, people will be in headdresses and minimal clothes, keep your composure, it’s Fun Day
It’s here! It’s Fun Day! Take a look at your daily schedule:
8:15am- Wake up! Crack a beer and make a mimosa cuz it’s time for Fun Day! Start slow and steady to stay safe.
8:40am- Shower beer. Fucking do it.
9:15am- Off campus? Time to get the fuck on campus so you’re not designating a driver the morning of Fun Day. Bring cab fare.
9:30am- Breakfast. Whether it’s dhall or cooking in the apartments, make sure you eat a great breakfast. Maybe try a Bloody Mary or just have another PBR and a shot of Crystal Palace
10:20am- Begin preparing the day’s worth of drunk juice. For my friends and me, that is a gin bucket. Take a large plastic bin and empty in it three of the cheapest handles of gin you can find. Pair that with seven bottles of Fresca, a bag of quartered and squeezed limes, and a bag of ice from Stewart’s. Stir and drink.
11:00am- Apply sunscreen. Use the nasty spray stuff to cake yourself and some nicer cream shit for your face. Why am I even telling you this? You’re a college student!
11:20am- Partake in an outdoor activity as you make your way to the green. Bocce, frisbee, a rousing game of catch, I don’t give a fuck. Just make sure you’re on the South Park Green (that’s the one behind the library, not in front of dhall) by noon. Get your spot, grab some free sunglasses courtesy of SGA, and try not to throw up on Robin Adams. Throw up on Josh Nelson.
Beardo Otter takes the stage! Woo live music!
12:50pm- OJ Johnson DJ set. Re-up on booze from your dorm.
1:15pm- Eat something hearty and with lots of protein and carbs. Drink some water while you’re at it.
1:20pm- There will be a naked run. You will see your Outing Club friends naked. Just keep drinking and it will all end soon.
1:40pm- Bo Peep and the Funk Sheep plays! More live music and dancing!
2:30pm- DJDLi (Daniel Li) DJ set. Try out the bounce house!
3:20pm- Los Elk plays! The trifecta of animal themed bands is complete!
4:10pm- Lt. Surge (Allan Brown & Zach Gordon) DJ set. Are you still safe?
5:00pm- Nap. Seriously. Crash, pass out, and get some sleep to get the drunk out of you. You’ve been sitting outside in the sun consuming ungodly portions of alcohol all day. Give your body a break.
8:00pm- Eat something. Preferably greasy and from Char Koon. Drink a lot of water, take some Tylenol, and try to get your body started briefly.
9:00pm- Take a SOBER walk outside. You’re too tired to drink or smoke some pot still. The fresh air will do you some good.
9:45pm- It’s make-or-break-o’clock. Decide if you’re going out or not. I will not. You may, but be respectful of the people who went way harder than you and still can’t move.
1:00am- Go the fuck to sleep.
Take a personal day. For once you don’t have to do anything on a Sunday. Stay in bed, watch some Netflix, and snack your ass off throughout the day. Perfect chance to catch up on Game of Thrones. Drink lots of water.
And there you have it! Just remember to stay safe, know your limits, and have a great weekend. Try not to spoil this for the future Skidmore generations…