Welcome to college. At this point you’ve probably kissed Mommy and Daddy goodbye, pulled out the cigarettes you stashed in your computer case for the drive up and made your bed: CONGRATS it gets better from here. a handful of you are ahead of the game thanks to those nifty pre-orientation programs, but don’t get you nose stuck in the air about all these new arrivals, your 72 hours on campus don’t exactly make you an expert. The next few days are going to be an awkward whirl of introductions and conversations centered around who-knows-who from summer camp/private school/the bar mitzvah scene—relish these moments; never again will you be able to introduce yourself so candidly without the aid of alcohol.

By far the most arduous part of Freshman Orientation is the name games; on average you will play 2.8 games of Two Truths and a Lie per day for the next week. To spice things up I suggest telling three lies and just picking the cutest person to be the “winning” guesser. Name games are for elementary schoolers, you’re in college now kiddo cut the shit.

Speaking from personal experience spending some quality time with your new friends is probably more beneficial than attending fire safety meetings and complementary lunches. I’m not saying you should throw your schedules in the trash, I’m saying you should recycle them in one of the many paper recycling bins located around campus. But seriously have fun, learn your way around, introduce yourself, walk into town and be friendly. You’re going to have to spend at least 4 years with these people, it’s best not to throw it all away by being “that kid” during orientation.