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Drunk, High, & Sober: Triple Threat

Saturday, October 11th, 2014

Hello all.

So Triple Threat was fun, right???  What a lovely collection of funny people. I liked the part where someone paid like $70 to make people kiss.  I’d like to have the money for that one day. Anyway, here are three different reactions from SU writes under various states of influence. I hope you will enjoy the notes I took during the show, sans autocorrect. There was alcohol involved.

(Woah I just realized there’s a pretty great double meaning in that title.)

Drunk

TRIPLE THREAT NOTES
BLOWING KISSES
FANTASTIC BECCA
SO MANY SKIDOMEDT
whi is long haired boy
andrew pretty
lotta choking
i forgot britanny was in this
but im a fan
#dildos
ballsack
there is a dad next to me????
im pretty horny after this one
nick looks like robin
bobby does gr8 greaser accent
keegan good punk believable
SO SILLY
WHAT AN UNCOMFIRTABLE SITUATION
DAD BEXT TO ME IS ENJOYING EVERYTHING SO FAR FINDS EVERYTHING PLEASANT
riistershies
ehat a commitions!
adult tiys douns fun
WET
DAD LIKES CLIT JOKES
I WINDER IF HE FINDS IT RELATAVLE

AD LIB TIME
MY LITTLE ELF PRINCE IS IN TWO GROUPS
HI ADAM
WHO IS TINY GLASSES GIRL??????
SOFT GRUNGE
HAVING SEX WITH SHEA WOULD BE LIKE HAVING SEX WITH A BEAUTIFUL ELF PRINCESS WHO HAS FORGOTTEN THE WAYS OF THE SECULAR FLESH
AWKWARD CLAP
WE WILL ALL DIE ONE DAY BUT DOES THAT TRULY MATTER
OF COURSE NOT
IMPROV CLASSROOM A CLASSIC
GOOD JOB BECCA
OMG IS THIS STILL HAOOENING???
IMPROV TAKES A WHILE
WHATEVER
ROLLIN???? OKAY
im lost what is haooenign
wait magbe too drubk????  oh no

OH NO SKETCHIE TIME
WHAT FRESH HELL AWAITS US
THIS IS ALREADY TORTUROUS
BUTT KISSING DESERVES NO CLAPS
two mugging sketches in one night i am seeing a pattern
we live in a police state how are we not terrified
wait i agve seen this sketch before come on guts
i need booze
daddy needs his fix
oh they eat abortions that is rich
high quality
#humanity
morgan can get it
howl
whi wrote this
i want names
feel free to reply in the comments
#fulldisclosure
??????
wait THIS ISNT IMPROV ITS A SKETCH
WILD
WOAH THIS IS BLOWING MY MIND
HALLIE RUN

AUCTIONTIME WHI WILLEIDAD REMAINS BEMUSED
TOO MUCH MONEY AND SCREAMING
IT IS DIFFICULT TI CARE ABOUT THEDE FOUR PEOPLE
im getting more alcohol
SAVE IT OR SHAVE IT
DAD HAS LEFT GOODBYE DAD
nipple
i thubk somewhere diwn the line i got confused about what comedy is.
kissing meaningless

 

I hope that dad had fun.

Yours,
Hannibal Burgess.


 

High

Up next are the notes from our resident high writer, Charmander (probably lit the blunt with its fire tail, yoooooooooo)

Hi friends here we goooooooo
Near front holla
Ridiculous music on point
COME ON FILENE OHHH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
ONE MINUTE LATE hmmmmm
Tummys a tinglin’ excite to laugh
Hella overcrowded like HOMIES new location next year
Kazoo woman marry me
Zooooooted
This motorboat sketch is a trip
Mouse teeth killin the game rn
I’m so heart warned!
TAKE THE FALL U GO MAN SORRY BB
Sweater game too strong in this group like DAYUM
SKIDOMEDU SET THAT BAT HIGH LETS GO TRUPLE THREAT
VER
SACE
Smart one liners
Stoned and oh so happy
Rolling up oh my god you geniuses all on board here
It’s all good the comedy is good this year congrats guys you made it
So high
SKETCHIES DANCE TURNED NE ON 9000%
Soul crushing comedy at it’s finest
Katsup? Really?
Very amused at  this improv joke
Versace boys gone god bless
So far all of the comedians are attractive it goes here for this group too
Will there be food at auction? Doubt it #lame

AUCTIONSSSSSS
THIS IS SO HEATED I LOVE IT HUMAN AUCTUONING AT ITS FINEST
I’m glad everyone is drunk good job friends
We aren’t ok to auction though oopssssssssss
Sad about not having beardy be nice to me for a week ugh
Shaving was scary but oh my this is a treat
People at this school need to learn how to math


 

Sober

Finally, here are the sober notes from writer Dr. Spaceman.  They are rather coherent!  Let’s read them together, shall we?

GENERAL:

  • So many humans. So many loud, sweaty humans.
  • There were a bunch of drunk freshman biddies in front of me going into GREAT detail about what they would do to each and every comedy boy. Watch out, Sketchie boys, the freshman coming for you. And they like your butts. Oh yes, they like your butts.
  • I don’t know 99% of this school anymore. There seemed to be a plethora of sad, white girls in black cardigans. Glad to see nothing has changed.

SKIDOMEDY:

  • For some odd reason, VERY focused on the theme of muggers/stabbing…..you tryna tell us something? I mean, it was still funny….but when that’s your go-to gag, time to start thinking of some new, not-as-violent-or-way-more-violent stuff.
  • My favorite sketch was those two girls diary writing. I was straight up sobbing with laughter. Who knew female sexual frustration could be so damn hilarious? Oh wait, probably because every female at Skidmore could relate to it.

AD-LIBS:

  • After a traumatizing 5th grade improv class, I personally am inclined to hate improv comedy. Nothing personal, Ad-Libs.
  • They tagged each other out REALLY quickly. Is that like a fancy improv technique, or did they all just really want more attention?
  • The dog-rapping thing could have SO uncomfortably not funny, but both the performers were so bizzarely funny that I had to enjoy it.
  • Full disclosure: I was in the bathroom for most of this, pooping and thinking about how life is cyclical. So uh, they had good energy, I guess?

SKETCHIES:

  • Any utilizing of our generation’s songbird Jason DeRulo will win my heart. I imagine they just went to Fallstaff’s and observed the masses to get inspiration for the dance routine.
  • That abortion/hamburger joint sketch probably pissed off a TON of people and will probably put the Sketchies on the shit list of the angry gender studies majors for life, but I loved it.
  • The “Howl” sketch was the weirdest shit ever. However, all my friends who were very high thought it was HILARIOUS. Maybe they wrote it, automatically assuming 50% of the audience would be high. In which case, I commend you, you beautiful monsters.

AUCTION:

  • Really uncomfortable. Always really uncomfortable. This was definitely the part where I most strongly wished I wasn’t sober.
  • People here are either insanely wealthy or insanely stupid. Probably both.
  • Ugh, being sober at these things is the worst. Never again. #College

 


 

So, that’s that! Just goes to show that substances are the only REAL way to have fun. I kid, I kid. Mostly?

GREAT JOB, COMEDY!

Triple Threat Comedy Show & Live Auction

Thursday, October 9th, 2014
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I need sunglasses to look at this for an extended period of time.

(Editor’s Note: Due to some recent complaints we received about our most recent coverage  of the Skidmore comedy groups, we’ve decided to let our official comedy consultant “A skidmore person” offer a more spirited write-up of the event. So if any of this has the potential to bother you, please just scroll down to the bottom and see what a real comedy expert has to say on the matter.)

Before you know it, it’ll be February, and with the coldest and most depressing month of the year (s/o to Valentine’s Day) comes one of the most beloved events here at Skidmore: ComFest. This Friday, you’ll be able to get a sampling of what to expect with Triple Threat, annual showcase of all three three of the four Skidmore comedy groups and ComFest fundraiser. The evening usually goes like this. The Ad-Libs, Skidomedy, and The Sketchies each come out and perform 10-15 minute long sets (during which you may writhe with bitterness at them taking “those schmucks” instead of you). After that, they’ll bring all the comedians out on stage and will hold an auction in which you can bid for the comedians to do “weird things.” (No, not that kind of “weird things.”)

It’s pretty hilarious. They’ve auctioned off some pretty sweet stuff in the past, including (but certainly not limited to):

  • shaving a comedian’s facial hair on stage
  • being tucked in to bed by one of the comedy groups
  • the chance to appear in a group’s sketch/set
  • a dhall date with the comedian of your choosing (they used to do a legitimate town, but apparently some dude was hella creepy about it and ruined it for everyone)
  • a long-winded compliment from one of the comedians
  • a $5 bill
  • having any two comedians make out on stage (this usually ends up being two dudes, because guys kissing is still pretty funny, I guess?)

I’m sure the list this year will include some of the above, but they generally do a pretty solid job of switching things up. And before you roll your eyes and sit down to write a SkidNews Op-Ed thinkpiece about how Skidmore students throw so much money at meaningless shit and demonstrate the economic privilege encapsulated by small liberal arts colleges, you should probably know that all of the proceeds go toward producing the National College Comedy Festival, which annual brings college and professional comedy groups from across the country–and has received shout outs from the New York Fucking Times. So it’s a good cause.

Of course, the auction is only the icing on the comedic cake, as the evening’s main highlight will be the short and sweet sets from the comedy groups. First, we have The Ad-Libs, who never fail to impress with their quick humor and endless flow of one-liners. You definitely remember seeing them at Freshman Showcase back when you were a bushy-tailed freshman and thought, “I wish I could do that. Maybe people would like me then.” Or maybe that was just me. Either way, odds are the Ad-Libs will milk every one of their 15 minutes and produce some improv gold. Check out their set from ComFest last year and get excited about what they have in store.

Next up is Skidomedy, always displaying a wide variety of comedic styles filled with smart (yes, smart) humor and well placed pop-culture references. They also consistently manage to inadvertently (or advertently?) rattle the cage with a healthy dose of controversy. That “Crustacean” sketch from ComFest is still legendary. And last year they faked someone’s death for like 30 seconds. Both were hilarious and resulted in a some people complaining to SGA or something. So you know they’re doing something right. They’re also roughly the size of the Treblemakers, so odds are you probably know someone in the group and should go to support them. Here’s their set from last year’s ComFest.

Lastly, we have The Sketchies. You’ve probably been very unsettled by their patented brand of rude and off-beat humor. You’ve probably found yourself thinking “Yo that’s pretty fucked-up” after one of their sketches. But that never stops the group from consistently producing hilariously enjoyable sketches exhibiting strong writing, bizarre premises, and humor as dark as their all-black attire. Check out their ComFest set for a small sampling.

Regardless of which comedy group best fits your bag, the evening’s sure to deliver, and we’ll have three correspondents covering it for our first installment of “Drunk, High, and Sober” (pretty self-explanatory, but more on that later). So show up at 10pm in Filene, bring cash (no credit card or Skidcard accepted), and start the weekend off right.

Hi Skiddies. User “A skidmore person” here. I love the comedy groups. No. You don’t understand. I FUCKING LOVE SKIDMORE COMEDY GROUPS. I get aroused just thinking about them. And the acapella groups. And just Skidmore in general. I consider myself to be something of a Skidmore comedy aficionado, so take it from me: you should really go to Triple Threat tomorrow night at 10:00pm in Filene. They’ll be doing funny things. I’ll be there in the front row, so come say hi. You’ll know me when you see me because I’ll be rubbing one out during the sets.

Weekend Distractions CXI

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

THURSDAY
7:00pm- Shin Dong-Hyuk Lecture @ Gannett Auditorium (fbook)
7:00pm- Sketchbook Night @ Tang (fbook)

FRIDAY
8:00pm- Back Country Crimes @ JKB (fbook)
10:30pm- Triple Threat Comedy Show & Auction @ Filene (fbook)

SATURDAY
3:00pm- Choreo II Performance @ Dance Theater (fbook)
3:00pm- Skidmore Chorus w/ Vocal Chamber Ensemble @ Zankel
8:00pm- Back Country Crimes @ JKB (fbook)
8:00pm- Halley & Aimee’s Voice Recital @ Zankel (fbook)
10:00pm- Bo Peep & the Funk Sheep with Tali Ratzon & the Grind @ Putnam Den (fbook)

SUNDAY
2:00pm- Back Country Crimes @ JKB (fbook)

Missing something? Let us know in the comments