If I could do college over, instead of being a slippingly anonymous blogger with caffeine headaches and bad skin I would be in a band.

I would play my instrument with my golden fingers and drive freshmen wild and people would carry me on their shoulders and my whole college career would be like one of the better montages from Almost Famous.

In this college-do-over-fantasy, my band and I play Fun Day and when I look out over the crowd of students, pale shouldered and drunk behind neon sunglasses I can see that I have melted their minds with my amazing guitar solo. The crowd literally has their melted brains dripping out of their ears and nose and I am fucking shredding on my ax and then fireworks go off behind me as I am lifted up by a crane and carried, dove like over the crowd, to a jacuzzi filled with champagne, a cold jacuzzi filled with champagne, where I am greeted by every girl I have ever crushed on, even my first German au-pair.

I think this is what having your band play Fun Day is like. Alas, I can only speculate. But you, Lucky Musician, you can live the dream. You and your band can play Fun Day. All you need to do to begin living your dream is click here. Sieze this opportunity! These are the best days of your life! You’re only young once! I am still in love with my baby sitter from 6th grade!