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Skidmore’s Guide to Super Bowl LI

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

mmmmm intimate
Let me get this straight, you go to Skidmore, you clicked on a SkidUnoffical link, and you chose a sports(ish) article?

You’re either really trying to impress that guy you met downtown who had the name of that team on a hat, you put your daddy’s fat stack of cash on the big game, or you’re horribly lost and confused. In that case, close the computer, spin around three times for good luck, lay down, dry-hump the floor, open your computer, and keep reading you brainwashed fuck.

If you haven’t heard, the dirty birds are taking on Brady and the boys this Sunday to compete for America’s ultimate prize; a chance to say “I’m going to Disney world” on live TV right after cracking skulls for five hours or however long that shit lasts.

In between all the chaos Lady Gaga will be performing the halftime show, which will give you the opportunity to actually recognize something on the screen for the first time in hours.

The game starts at 6:30 which should give you ample time to procrastinate all of your work and, finally, get blackout on a Sunday night for a sporting event you probably don’t give a shit about.

Whatever you do, don’t be that person at the party who is “just here for the commercials.” You’re not fooling anyone. 

For those of you still trying to figure out who to root for, consider this.

Reasons to root for the New England Patriots:

1. You’re from Boston or surrounding areas
2. A list has to have at least two things on it

Reasons to root for the Falcons:

1. You’re from Atlanta (but none of you are)
2. They’re the underdog and we like that, right?
3. They’ve never won a super bowl
4. They’re not the Patriots.
5. They play in a dome…that’s cool?
6. DOPE mascot

Reasons to root against the Patriots:

1. Brady and Trump are BFF’s
2. Coach Belicheck and Trump are BFF’s
3. Patriots Owner Robert Kraft and Trump are BFF’s
4. Do I really have to keep going?
5. Yes I do
6. Nevermind I don’t.
7. I think you get the picture
8. Ps deflategate
9. And also more cheating
10. Kthxbye

Reasons to root against the Falcons

1. You voted for trump.
2. You shouldn’t.

Enjoy the game!

Skidmore Quidditch Team

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Do it for Fred Wesley

I know, I get it- you’ve read all the books three times, the movies have all come out, and you missed the early Pottermore registration so now you have to wait til early October to find out what house you *really* belong to. Fortunately, there is a new release on campus for all your pent up Harry Potter tension– Skidmore is starting a Quidditch team! The first meeting will be on Sunday October 2 at 2:30 in Bolton 103.

Don’t worry if you’re not athletic! If the best player Hogwarts ever had was a malnourished nerd who lived in a cupboard under some stairs for most of his life, you’ll probably be fine. I’m just kidding I don’t know anything about real sports and the people who emailed me really didn’t give me any information outside of the time and place of the meeting. I’m not even a real witch!!! This broom is made out of plastic! My wand is a twig I found in Northwoods! I do own an owl, but it’s not for what you think it is.

Follow @ SkidQuidditch on twitter.