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Skidmore’s Guide to Super Bowl LI

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

mmmmm intimate
Let me get this straight, you go to Skidmore, you clicked on a SkidUnoffical link, and you chose a sports(ish) article?

You’re either really trying to impress that guy you met downtown who had the name of that team on a hat, you put your daddy’s fat stack of cash on the big game, or you’re horribly lost and confused. In that case, close the computer, spin around three times for good luck, lay down, dry-hump the floor, open your computer, and keep reading you brainwashed fuck.

If you haven’t heard, the dirty birds are taking on Brady and the boys this Sunday to compete for America’s ultimate prize; a chance to say “I’m going to Disney world” on live TV right after cracking skulls for five hours or however long that shit lasts.

In between all the chaos Lady Gaga will be performing the halftime show, which will give you the opportunity to actually recognize something on the screen for the first time in hours.

The game starts at 6:30 which should give you ample time to procrastinate all of your work and, finally, get blackout on a Sunday night for a sporting event you probably don’t give a shit about.

Whatever you do, don’t be that person at the party who is “just here for the commercials.” You’re not fooling anyone. 

For those of you still trying to figure out who to root for, consider this.

Reasons to root for the New England Patriots:

1. You’re from Boston or surrounding areas
2. A list has to have at least two things on it

Reasons to root for the Falcons:

1. You’re from Atlanta (but none of you are)
2. They’re the underdog and we like that, right?
3. They’ve never won a super bowl
4. They’re not the Patriots.
5. They play in a dome…that’s cool?
6. DOPE mascot

Reasons to root against the Patriots:

1. Brady and Trump are BFF’s
2. Coach Belicheck and Trump are BFF’s
3. Patriots Owner Robert Kraft and Trump are BFF’s
4. Do I really have to keep going?
5. Yes I do
6. Nevermind I don’t.
7. I think you get the picture
8. Ps deflategate
9. And also more cheating
10. Kthxbye

Reasons to root against the Falcons

1. You voted for trump.
2. You shouldn’t.

Enjoy the game!

Weekend Distractions CXIII

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

THURSDAY
5:00pm- Speak Up, Make Change: Five Bright Ideas in Feminist Media Workshop @ ICC (fbook)
6:30pm- “A Band Called Death” Film Screening @ The Tang (fbook)
8:00pm- Speak Up, Make Change: Five Bright Ideas in Feminist Media Lecture @ Filene (fbook)
8:00pm- Brazilian Guitar Quartet @ Zankel

FRIDAY
4:00pm- Outing Club Big Meeting @ Falstaffs
4:30pm- Awkward Kids Talking Auditions @ JKB
6:00pm- Women’s Basketball vs. Bard College @ Williamson Sports Center
8:00pm- Men’s Basketball vs. Bard College @ Williamson Sports Center
10:00pm- Prom 100 Days Dance @ Saratoga Hilton

SATURDAY
11:00am- Chowderfest 2014 @ Downtown
11:30am- Awkward Kids Talking Newbie Show @ Spa (fbook)
1:00pm- Women’s Swimming & Diving Invitational @ Williamson Sports Center
Drunk:00pm- HAP @ you’ll know if you’re supposed to know

SUNDAY
6:30pm- Super Bowl XLVIII on FOX @ MetLife Stadium
7:00pm- WSPN Big Meeting @ Gannett (fbook)

Missing something? Let us know in the comments

BREAKING: Talented Freshmen Ice Hockey Player Easily Overshadows My Own Personal Accomplishments

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

Congratulations to Skidmore ice hockey player Vlad Gavrik ’14 who will represent his home country of Ukraine in the 2011 International Ice Hockey Federation U-20 World Championship in Belarus.

Garvirk’s accomplishments are further highlighted by the fact that I didn’t get out of bed until 2pm, had Cheetos for breakfast and am incredibly proud of myself for making it this far into the day without crying. Clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose!

Skidmore Ice Hockey will play its final game of the season tonight at the City Ice Rink at 7pm.