Looks like the knuckle-draggers at The Skidmore News have heeded my outrage and published a new set of incident reports. Not the best by any means, although it seems that people forgot how to drive over spring break. Also, the report of “solicitation” on March 19 is so vague and intriguing. Were these gentlemen drug dealers? Male prostitutes? Mafiosi? The public demands an answer!
Sunday, March 17
- Sunday, March 17—Campus Safety Assist: A scrape reported at 6:10 p.m. on the reporting person’s vehicle’s rear bumper that was sustained when parked in Falstaff’s parking lot over the spring break. Unknown cause or perpetrator at this time. Report issued.
Monday, March 18
- Campus Safety Assist: Officer reported a wooden bench seat broken at 3:44 a.m. outside of Starbuck Center. Unknown damage due to vandalism or weathering. Damage recorded.
Tuesday, March 19
- Accident: Report received at 6:15 a.m. that a plow truck had hit a light pole in the Arthur Zankel Music Building parking lot. No personal injury reported. Damage recorded. Report issued.
- Accident: Vehicle reported 11:57 a.m. off of Perimeter Road. Officer reported that a co-worker had pulled the van back onto the road. No damage to the vehicle or College property. Report issued.
- Campus Safety Assist: Three subjects reported at 5:10 p.m. sliding on the roof of the Tang Teaching Museum disrupting cameras. Subjects requested to vacate the area and they complied.
- Solicitation: Males reported at 6:18 p.m. soliciting at Cane Crossing. Dispatched officers located the subjects and escorted them off campus. Report issued.