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SGA Town Hall Meeting 11/6

Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Dapper as fuck. And a little creepy.

Dapper as fuck. And a little creepy.

If you’re at all interested in putting faces to the names of people responsible for governing the school, check out SGA’s November Town Hall Meeting in the Spa this Wednesday.  There’s milk and cookies courtesy of the Plum Dandy spinoff, Milk and Cookies, and you’ll have a chance to voice your concerns about student government policies and general campus happenings.  Personally, I’m still waiting for a 24-hour library and a renovated Falstaff”s* but hey, that’s just me.

Go complain to Sam Harris about your wildest musings and analyze how the best of us handle stress.


Click to continue »

Skidmore Unofficial Endorses Sophomore for SGA Prez: Because Why Not?

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013


Unlike most other highly rated networks, we at Skidmore Unofficial try not to compromise our principles. We’re dedicated to bringing you the most unbiased, informative, and factually rigorous news in Saratoga Springs, and that’s why we don’t cover SGA elections. While The Skidmore News stoops to levels below degradation in its constant, pathetic quest to boost ratings and pageviews, we try to rise above it all. We stay away from student politics because student politics are fucking stupid.


Skidmore Unofficial is proud to announce our support for Sam Harris ’15 as SGA president. Sam is currently the VP for club affairs, and against all odds, he has decided to run for president as a sophomore. I can say with complete sincerity that this young man is going to change the way you think about student government.

This is the story of America, the story of Barack Obama and the Castro brothers, and dozens of other idealists who have fought tooth and nail against the established order (see: incumbent and physical embodiment of evil, Matt Walsh ’13). This young man has a vision, and he’s going to shove it down your fucking throat whether you like it or not.

What’s Sam’s goal, you ask? Well, it’s “to create conduits for student initiated change.”

And how does he plan on doing that?

To increase civic engagement by holding students to higher
standards, igniting the drive for leadership, and ultimately
strengthening the voice of individuals, SGA, and the student body as a

You are witnessing the rebirth of democracy, folks. When you go to the polls tomorrow, vote Harris. He’s making SGA more interesting just by being there (feel free to use that as your campaign slogan, Sam).

SGA Elections: Round II (FIGHT!!!)

Monday, March 25th, 2013

The hellsteed itself

Skids Scribner—the equine motherfucker who haunts your nightmares—has informed me that Speech Night for Round II of SGA elections will take place on Wednesday night, where he’ll spring for unlimited pizza and snacks. Maybe this fucknose ain’t so bad after all.

Voting is important or something, so after Speech Night, be sure to check your email for a ballot. “Polls” will be open until 11:59pm on Thursday night, and voting booths will be placed in Atrium and the SGA desk in Case.

SPEECH NIGHT: Wednesday March 27, 6pm @ D-Hall (second floor)

(via Facebook)

SGA Website Hacked

Monday, January 28th, 2013

This hack could also double as a Diablo-centered Angelfire site circa 1998.

This weekend, the SGA website—a very important online resource that all Skidmore students and members of the greater Saratoga community check regularly—was infiltrated by an (allegedly!) Anonymous-affiliated hacker going by the name of Donnazmi. It’s all very exciting!

One can only assume that this attack was part of a calculated effort to retaliate against corrupt, opaque government institutions worldwide. It would seem that President Matt Walsh and the vampiric gangsters that make up SGA have quite a lot to answer for.


(via SGA)

Sign Up for SGA Elections and Make a “Difference”

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Could be you someday

The country is slogging neck-deep through Silly Season, so this seems to be as good a time as any to plug SGA.

There’s an optional info meeting for Round 1 Elections tomorrow at 6pm in Ladd 307, followed by a mandatory meeting for all candidates on Friday at 5pm. Self-nominations are due at the SGA office on Friday at 4:30pm. If you’ve been staring woefully at the blank space under “Leadership and Activities” on your resume, then this might be your solution.

I myself am running for Northwoods Senator on the long-dormant Occupy Case Walkway ticket. I’m a successful entrepreneur with over thirty years of experience in the private sector, and I’m committed to getting Skidmore back to work!


Yes, I may be a tireless public servant, but I’m also a churchgoing family man. My loving wife, Babs, and I have taught our three wonderful children, Bucky, Hephzibah, and little Rowley Jr. that traditional values are what first made Skidmore the school it is today. It’s those same values that my own father—a hardscrabble quinoa farmer from the great town of Wilton—taught me as a boy, and it’s those values that will continue to make Skidmore the greatest liberal arts school on the face of the Earth!

[Applause, chants of “SKIDMORE! SKIDMORE! SKIDMORE!”]

Info meeting on Wednesday, September 12 in Ladd 307 @ 6pm
Self-nominations due Friday, September 14 in SGA Office @ 4:30pm
Candidate meeting on Friday, September 14 in Ladd 307 @5pm

Library to be Renovated

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

This is legitimately the best picture of the library I could find on Google

Today, the refreshingly efficient Junior Class President, Matt Walsh, sent an email informing students of the School’s decision to renovate the library. Justifiably, Walsh and SGA seem a little upset that this is the first the student body has been informed of arguably the biggest administrative construction initiative since Zankel:

My response to that was – “this is happening now?” and “why didn’t I know about this?”  Many students I have since spoke to were also unaware of this coming to fruition.

In any event, here’s the tentative plan the IT/library heads put forward at last night’s Senate meeting:

  • 250+ more seats
  • 10+ more study rooms (some with flat screen TVs)
  • A system to reserve study rooms (no definite plans yet)
  • Lots more group tables
  • More computer stations
  • More individual study rooms
  • Better access to power outlets
  • Media viewing room (think small scale movie theater)
  • A courtyard outside the library (you can see construction now)
  • Moving GIS lab to library and expanding
  • Moving Media Services to library
  • Nearly doubling the amount of Media Services space
  • Expansion of Writing Center
  • Lots and lots of technology
  • Hopefully done by the end of THIS summer
  • Construction is from 7am to 3pm daily

Most of these ideas are great, with more seats, computers, and a study room reservation system standing out among them. Regardless, the fact remains that construction has already begun and we’re only hearing about it now. Also, it would be nice to know how much this is all going to cost, and what the noise and dust will be like in the coming months.

To be honest, the way the Administration’s gone about this seems a little heavy-handed, but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt if they actually follow through on their promise of “lots and lots of technology.” Not really sure what to make of that, but everybody loves technology, right? Maybe they’re getting one of those amazing touchscreens from Minority Report! Perhaps an underground particle accelerator lies in our library’s bright future! Your guess is as good as mine, but the possibilities are endless.

Free Baked Goods

Friday, April 29th, 2011

The socialists at SGA have created some sort of barter-based baked good exchange program where you tell them something you would like to see improved at Skidmore and they give you a cupcake.

If you would like to trade your opinion for some nourishment go find the SGA Communications and Outreach Committee on Case Green from 2pm-5pm.


SGA Speech Night Ignites Controversy In SkidNews Comment Fields

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

This week’s requisite Arduous Anonymous Commenting Fueled Controversy is brought to you by SGA Speech Night and The Commenting Section Of This SkidNews Article.

I wasn’t at Speech Night so I don’t really have much to say about all this but can we all just take a deep breath or something. Jesus.

Everything You Need To Know About SGA Elections

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

missing from this chart? the Illumnati connections

SGA aka Student Government Association aka Super Good Amigos aka Succulent Green Apples is perpetuating the cycle of democracy by hosting elections to fill next year’s positions. Usually this shit is soooo boring (politics, right?) but this round of ballot punching happens to be full of exciting contested elections. Huzzah!

Speech Night is Wednesday, April 6th at 6pm in the Spa so if you want to be an informed and responsible voter you should probably attend that (there will also be free pizza). You can also browse this wonderful facebook album loaded with sexy pictures and exciting information about the candidates.

If you’re popular and/or pretty you probably have a lot of facebook friends, which means that all of your friends have probably already invited you to an infuriating amount of facebook events made to support the various candidates, which WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT DUDE? Facebook is for looking at pictures of cute girls from high school, not ‘getting out the vote’ or whatever. Leave me alone.

Voting is all day Thursday online and at the SGA offices in Case Center and if you’re a real American you’ll wait until then to decide who you support.


SGA Voting Happy Time Time

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

It is time once again to encourage you all to vote in the SGA elections. If I had the time I would make the obligatory joke about the importance of democratic participation and maybe also something about the rise of democracy in North Africa here, but I’m kind of in a rush and can’t be bothered. Feel free to make your own in the comments.

Click here to vote online, or visit the SGA offices in Case Center.