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The Skidmore Unofficial “Staff” Presents: Our New Year’s Resolutions

Wednesday, December 31st, 2014
Fuck parties. I know what I'm watching tonight.

Fuck parties. I know what I’m watching tonight.

And so we come to the end of yet another year, guys. Congratulations! You survived! Perhaps unscathed, perhaps not. But you survived. And not everyone can say the same. Is that tasteless? I don’t know. Death comes to us all in one way or another, so you should be used to it by now. Happy Holidays.

Maybe right now you’re wishing more than anything that you were back at Skidmore, preparing to ring in 2015 with a night off shitty-ness at the only place that’s ever felt like home. Maybe it feels strange getting drunk with a group of people who feel like strangers at this point in spite of how close you were to them only five years ago. But take comfort in knowing that you’re where you are today for a reason. Besides, if you were back st Skid right now, you’d know you’d just be one of many humanoids cramped in the Stable staircase, probably making out with your ex the second the clock struck twelve. And regardless of how much regret will instill itself into your 2015 existence, you don’t want to start things off that way. Trust your favorite step-uncle.

Anyway, we here at Skidmore Unofficial wanted to give you a taste of what to expect from us in 2015. Not so much goals for the site–ha, you think we have a plan here?–but more personal goals for ourselves, standards that we’ll hold ourselves to as we look toward a future of limitless possibility. It’s nearly 2015, after all. And if you’re anything like me, you were casually dropping homophobic slurs and listening to Three Days Grace only 8 years ago (not sure which one is worse, tbh), so progress is possible, friends.

So, without further ado, we present our New Year’s resolutions for 2015. Click to continue »

North Woods Halloween Haunt

Tuesday, October 28th, 2014
I believe the term is "spoopy."

I believe the term is “spoopy.”

Tomorrow night, Sustainable Skidmore will kick-off Skidmore Unplugged (which you might know as the event that spawned this beautiful creation) by hosting the North Woods Halloween Haunt. Not to be confused with the Northwoods Halloween Hunt, of course, which will take place this weekend and will consist of campo combing through every apartment unit on campus, missing the golden days of just busting people at Moorebid.

This guided tour of the “possibly haunted” North Woods will begin at 8:00pm at the Falstaff’s entrance to the woods, which is appropriate, given the fact that most of your scariest experiences in your time at Skidmore have probably taken place at Falstaff’s.

The tour is sure to feature many creatures that haunt your nightmares, such as ghost, goblins, and that email from Sam Harris detailing the new smoking policies. So take a spooky study break and bring your friend. Or come alone if you don’t have any of those think you can handle it.

Skidmore Unofficial Endorses Sophomore for SGA Prez: Because Why Not?

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
HOPE

HOPE

Unlike most other highly rated networks, we at Skidmore Unofficial try not to compromise our principles. We’re dedicated to bringing you the most unbiased, informative, and factually rigorous news in Saratoga Springs, and that’s why we don’t cover SGA elections. While The Skidmore News stoops to levels below degradation in its constant, pathetic quest to boost ratings and pageviews, we try to rise above it all. We stay away from student politics because student politics are fucking stupid.

UNTIL TODAY.

Skidmore Unofficial is proud to announce our support for Sam Harris ’15 as SGA president. Sam is currently the VP for club affairs, and against all odds, he has decided to run for president as a sophomore. I can say with complete sincerity that this young man is going to change the way you think about student government.

This is the story of America, the story of Barack Obama and the Castro brothers, and dozens of other idealists who have fought tooth and nail against the established order (see: incumbent and physical embodiment of evil, Matt Walsh ’13). This young man has a vision, and he’s going to shove it down your fucking throat whether you like it or not.

What’s Sam’s goal, you ask? Well, it’s “to create conduits for student initiated change.”

And how does he plan on doing that?

To increase civic engagement by holding students to higher
standards, igniting the drive for leadership, and ultimately
strengthening the voice of individuals, SGA, and the student body as a
whole.

You are witnessing the rebirth of democracy, folks. When you go to the polls tomorrow, vote Harris. He’s making SGA more interesting just by being there (feel free to use that as your campaign slogan, Sam).