A New York State Fire Marshall will be doing inspections on campus early this week. Beginning Monday a large man, most likely with a moustache, will be checking to make sure none of us are in violation of fire codes. If Mr. Marshall does in fact take offence to the firework collection in your closet, or the candle and gasoline sculpture decorating your window seat be prepared to write a check. Inspections include walking through each Northwoods and Scribner apartment, as well as rooms (selected at random) in each of the eight dorms. Inspections begin Monday and will continue throughout the week.

And while I’m not sure how much the Fire Marshall cares about your Bacardi collection you might want to do some hiding—don’t trust anyone over 30 ya know? Smokey the Bear is most likely going to chaperoned by some sort of ResLife quasi-official so you might want to keep the stash in your laundry basket or something like that.

Continue reading after the jump for a straight-from-ResLife-list of things that make little balls of excited spittle form in the corner of a violation hungry Fire Marshall’s mouth.

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