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Some (Maybe?) Helpful Hints for Fun Day 2015

Friday, April 24th, 2015
Lest we forgot what the sky looked like on Fun Day last year.

Lest we forgot what the sky looked like on Fun Day last year.

Fun Day is tomorrow.

That’s really all there is to it, but while we have you here, let’s talk about it a little bit. Maybe you’re a seasoned pro by now. Maybe you’ve never experienced this sextravaganza (not a typo). Either way, it’s never too late/early to get some tips on how to get the most (or least) out of the coldest funnest day of the year. Because here at SkidUnofficial, we make mistakes so YOU don’t have to!

Obviously you’re going to make most of your Fun Day plans around your pals and how early they decide to get basic on the fourth floor of JoTo. But it’s worth thinking about the cornerstone of Fun Day…

No, not I’m not talking about pot (haha did you know there’s weed at this school?). I’m talking about the bands! Err…I mean the bands and DJs! Both! Both are equally valued on this site! Really! Honest!

Here’s the running order as of right now.

12:00 – Salmon of Knowledge
12:50 – Queen Ambrosia
1:40 – Trash Johnson
2:30 – Los Elk
3:20 – Karate
4:10 – Dope Mosely

See a band you wanna catch? Then make sure to drag your buds over to the green and soak up the tunes. What’s that? They’re not budging?! Fuck ’em! You can catch them later once they’ve done the dirty work of finding a place to lay the blanket.

But enough from me! Let me hand it over to some of my esteemed colleagues for them to share their endless bounty of wisdom.

Charmander:

It’s a marathon, not a sprint! Don’t be that person who passes out at 3pm only to wake up at 5 with a hangover so terrible it will awaken Lucy Scribner herself. Just let the day happen and the good time will roll along.

Dr. Spaceman:

Be whimsical as fuck, in both looks and spirits: if you ever publicly scorned those sexy pierced hula-hooping girls but secretly wanted to be them, Fun Day is your chance. Break out your lacy bralette and flower crowns or just go naked. Fun Day welcomes you as you are. Honestly, unless you intentionally try really hard to fuck things up, it will inevitably be a fun day for everyone. Go on all the fun bouncy rides–the grace period for it being socially acceptable to act like a kid is running out (unless you’re a freshman, in which case I hate you because I am a bitter washed-up senior), so take advantage while you can. Just enjoy everything around you, don’t fret about whether or not you look weird or if your crush is there or if you think you see your professor (I promise, you don’t [Executive Editor’s note: I saw mine last year]). Seriously, just be happy to be in the moment and check yo worries at the Case door.

Shifting into Mom Mode: If you’re going to be drinking that day, PLEASE take advantage of the food available. I didn’t my freshman year, and let’s just say I left a little gift near the Burgess tables. (Puke. The gift was puke.). Also, seriously, wear some fucking sunscreen. I know not everyone is as pale as me (OMG!!! I just gave my identity away! Hahahah just kidding, everyone at this school is a porcelain-white girl), but when you are drunkenly lying in the sun for like 5 hours, you WILL get burnt. Get turnt, don’t get burnt. No matter what the weather, I guarantee a Fun Day for all or your tuition money back (just kidding, Glotzbach needs the infinite tuition money for lifeblood).

Major Qwik:

There’s no shame in calling time-out and taking a break from the festivities. You might say that you’re going to see every band/DJ’s setlist, but odds are that probably won’t happen. Be realistic. Take care of yourself. If you’re hungry, head to dhall. If you need to load-up on water, head back to your dorm with a pal and have a h2h featuring vulnerability you never knew you had and will likely never see again. Now, of course, by “water” what I really mean is  MALIBU MALIBU ALL DAY WOOOO YOU ARE YOUNG AND IT IS FRESHMAN YEAR AND DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

(No, it doesn’t. You’ve peaked.)

Anyway, the point is that the aforementioend whimsical hula-hoopers will still be there when you get back. This shit really does go on for a while. So don’t worry about missing “the best part” while on your break. The whole day is the best part! Unless you don’t get the sunglasses. Then it’s best just to pack up before something really bad happens. Oh, and if you DO get sunglasses, don’t fall asleep with them on.Basic shit, but you’ll think your Uncle Qwik later. The weather app on my iPhone currently has a sun icon for Saturday, so it WILL be out for the majority of the day, presumably (as opposed to the 15 glorious minutes it was out for last year).

And another thing: don’t pull any of that “I’m just going back to my dorm to take a quick name then I’ll wake up RARIN’ TO GO” shit. That’s not going to happen. If you fall asleep on Fun Day, you won’t wake up. No, I don’t mean you’ll die (though for fuck’s sake don’t do that either). I mean you won’t wake up until Fun Day is over. And if that’s the case, well, you might as well have died.

Oh, and if you find yourself thinking “Well golly, this girl/guy sure is cute, let’s lickity-split and go to my SUPER SECRET SEMI-PUBLIC SEX SPOT” at any point past 2:00, don’t bother. It’s more than likely that your super secret semi-public sex spot isn’t all that super secret, and at least two other couples (or triads? Fun Day, remember?) will already be bumpin’ uglies. So unless you feel like negotiating the space (sharing is caring, after all), I suggest you get more creative or just have sex in a dorm like the good Christian boy/girl you know yourself to be.

Hannibal Burgess:

“Fun Day is the only day where if you don’t look like an idiot, you look like an idiot.”
–Ghandi

And if you haven’t found that interesting enough, here’s 14 fun facts about Robin Adams! The more you know. (Edit: The link is down. But here’s his website in case you still need to fill your RA quota for the week!)

Did You Miss Beatlemore? Watch It Here!

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014
Poster designed by Jackie Avellar '15.

Poster designed by Jackie Avellar ’15.

If you (like me) committed the Skidmore cardinal sin of missing out on Beatlemore this weekend, absolution is readily available. You can (re)live the magic in this recording of Saturday night’s Skidmore-only performance below.

[On another note: check out the music department’s livestream page for a whole slew of archived events that you probably missed as well. Shit, what with everything being thrown on the Internet, why go out anymore? Stay inside. Live your life from your computer desk. It’s safe there.]

Obviously, you should watch the entire performance, but we’ve done you the service of writing out the setlist below the video. You know, just in case you’re only watching so you can see your friend–the one you totally promised you would go, but you waited until the last minute and couldn’t get a ticket or just decided that your Northwoods apartment was too warm and toasty to schleck all the way to Zankel.

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Skidmore Unofficial’s Official Survival Guide to Fun Day Weekend

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
Yes.  It's a fun day.  People are excited.  Stay safe and clean up your fucking trash.

Yes. It’s a fun day. People are excited. Stay safe and clean up your fucking trash.

Ah, yes.  It’s finally time to begin preparing for Fun Day weekend.  Classes are winding down, the weather is improving, and everyone on campus is ready to blow off a little (a lot) of steam.  With a crazy busy weekend of debauchery ahead, we figured you should all get a quick rundown on how you should prepare and how it’ll all go down.

WEDNESDAY
Get all of your homework done.  Seriously.  The last thing you’ll want to do is school work the day after Fun Day.  Even if you’re not planning on drinking Saturday, everyone in your life will be either exhausted, hung over, sunburnt, or some combination of the three.  It’s best to get things out of the way and give yourself time to recuperate and to watch Netflix.  Also, it’s a great chance to talk with your friends about who’s buying what alcohol for the weekend, where you’re pregaming (and gaming), and the easiest way to eat a hearty breakfast.

THURSDAY
The Happening.  It’s Lively Lucy’s crazy ridiculous ’60s art throwback to the times of Andy Warhol and recreational acid tripping in the East Village. It’s at Falstaff’s.  Way more clubs than you can count come together for wacky, zany cross-pollenated artistic activities.  And if you’re not into that type of thing, take this as your last chance to get your work done for the weekend and to rest up.

FRIDAY
Get your booze!  Get your food!  Take the time when you’re done with classes to stock up on your Fun Day supplies.  This includes (but isn’t limited to) alcohol, hearty breakfast food, mid-day snacks, an opaque water bottle, SUNSCREEN, enough cigarettes to get you through a week (trust me), a backpack, whatever other substances you plan on consuming, and potentially a parasol.  By this point you should know who you’re partying with and where, too.  And at night, it’s the Tang Party!  Go take a walk outside the Tang and check out some sweet student art installations.  It’s also featuring a pretty sweet lineup of student bands that aren’t on the Fun Day roster: Psymon Spine, Pooch, Triceracops, and Queen Ambrosia.  While it may be your natural inclination to drink to your heart’s content on a Friday night, we advise building up to a very slight buzz and stopping there.  You’re going to consume a lot of alcohol on Fun Day, and you want to give your body time to flush out whatever you’ve been drinking the night before, so make sure it’s not too much.

Skidmore

Yes, people will be in headdresses and minimal clothes, keep your composure, it’s Fun Day

SATURDAY
It’s here!  It’s Fun Day!  Take a look at  your daily schedule:
8:15am- Wake up!  Crack a beer and make a mimosa cuz it’s time for Fun Day!  Start slow and steady to stay safe.
8:40am- Shower beer.  Fucking do it.
9:15am- Off campus?  Time to get the fuck on campus so you’re not designating a driver the morning of Fun Day.  Bring cab fare.
9:30am- Breakfast.  Whether it’s dhall or cooking in the apartments, make sure you eat a great breakfast.  Maybe try a Bloody Mary or just have another PBR and a shot of Crystal Palace
10:20am- Begin preparing the day’s worth of drunk juice.  For my friends and me, that is a gin bucket.  Take a large plastic bin and empty in it three of the cheapest handles of gin you can find.  Pair that with seven bottles of Fresca, a bag of quartered and squeezed limes, and a bag of ice from Stewart’s.  Stir and drink.
11:00am- Apply sunscreen.  Use the nasty spray stuff to cake yourself and some nicer cream shit for your face.  Why am I even telling you this?  You’re a college student!
11:20am- Partake in an outdoor activity as you make your way to the green.  Bocce, frisbee, a rousing game of catch, I don’t give a fuck.  Just make sure you’re on the South Park Green (that’s the one behind the library, not in front of dhall) by noon.  Get your spot, grab some free sunglasses courtesy of SGA, and try not to throw up on Robin Adams.  Throw up on Josh Nelson.
12:00pm- Beardo Otter takes the stage!  Woo live music!
12:50pm- OJ Johnson DJ set. Re-up on booze from your dorm.
1:15pm- Eat something hearty and with lots of protein and carbs.  Drink some water while you’re at it.
1:20pm- There will be a naked run.  You will see your Outing Club friends naked.  Just keep drinking and it will all end soon.
1:40pm- Bo Peep and the Funk Sheep plays!  More live music and dancing!
2:30pm- DJDLi (Daniel Li) DJ set. Try out the bounce house!
3:20pm- Los Elk plays!  The trifecta of animal themed bands is complete!
4:10pm- Lt. Surge (Allan Brown & Zach Gordon) DJ set. Are you still safe?
5:00pm- Nap.  Seriously.  Crash, pass out, and get some sleep to get the drunk out of you.  You’ve been sitting outside in the sun consuming ungodly portions of alcohol all day.  Give your body a break.
8:00pm- Eat something.  Preferably greasy and from Char Koon.  Drink a lot of water, take some Tylenol, and try to get your body started briefly.
9:00pm- Take a SOBER walk outside.  You’re too tired to drink or smoke some pot still.  The fresh air will do you some good.
9:45pm- It’s make-or-break-o’clock.  Decide if you’re going out or not.  I will not.  You may, but be respectful of the people who went way harder than you and still can’t move.
1:00am- Go the fuck to sleep.

SUNDAY
Take a personal day.  For once you don’t have to do anything on a Sunday.  Stay in bed, watch some Netflix, and snack your ass off throughout the day.  Perfect chance to catch up on Game of Thrones.  Drink lots of water.

And there you have it!  Just remember to stay safe, know your limits, and have a great weekend.  Try not to spoil this for the future Skidmore generations…

keep-calm-and-don-t-be-an-asshole

Earth Day Promises Killer Musical Lineup feat. BADBADNOTGOOD

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
Another Garrett Lloyd Evans design.  Kid is killing it.

Another Garrett Lloyd Evans design. Kid is killing it.

Skidmore’s annual Earth Day Festival brings together various clubs around campus to provide family-friendly “earth-centered activities” for the campus community to enjoy.  We already know about a clothing swap, an afternoon hike, free food, and a petting zoo featuring Lil’ Sebastian.  But best of all, WSPN and SEC team up to provide a killer lineup of bands to keep us entertained all day.  Check out the run down and get ready for what’s shaping up to be the best Earth Day Festival yet.

BADBADNOTGOOD



This Toronto-based trio has backed up Frank Ocean at Coachella 2012, performed live with Earl Sweatshirt & Tyler, the Creator, and has produced music for the RZA, Earl, and James Blake.  They’ve also been the most exciting thing happening in jazz for the last few years.  They combine hip hop, traditional jazz, and other elements in an exciting and modern way and put on shows that will make you ruckus.

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