DEAR LUCY,

Last weekend I went to a party at my biggest crush’s house. I drank more than I probably should have and I also smoked marijuana—a combination I usually try to avoid for reasons that will become clear. Anyway, I was sitting in a room with a group of friends and all of a sudden I caught the spins and enter the house of nausea. I “casually” exited the room and ran to the bathroom but it was in use. So, I ran up to the attic and puked up my dinner of spaghetti and tomato sauce all over the floor. Almost immediately after I had emptied my stomach through my mouth/nose, my crush just so happened to come up to the attic (with a girl!). I panicked and ran downstairs and out the door without saying anything. I feel really bad about not cleaning up my mess, but I’m also incredibly embarrassed. What should I do?? Is it better to take responsibility for my actions and apologize? Or should I just ignore the incident and pretend it never happened?

Yours truly,
Lovesick In The Attic

DEAR LITA
OOF! We genuinely feel bad for you. Everyone has been there and we all know that humiliating yourself in front of a crush can be devastating. We know someone who, after taking a few too many tequila shots, ended up slap-groping the upper thigh of a crush. Mind you, this was not a light, cute, giggling thigh-brush. This was an aggressive, just shy of an OTPHJ (over-the-pants-hand-job), thigh-slap and massage.

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