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BREAKING: Macklemore Headlining Fun Day! (Update: April Fools)

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

I know many of you are upset with SEC for not booking a Big Show for this semester. They have so much money, there are so many great musicians out there, and we’re such a great host college for concerts, and yet, the Entertainment Committee still couldn’t get their shit together.

But that’s behind us, because this morning we received breaking news that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis will be headlining this Spring’s Fun Day! That’s fucking Macklemore, the white knight of hip hop music, coming to our quaint liberal arts college. He is going to turn the fuck up. You know, Macklemore, the most progressive hip hopper ever to win a Grammy? The man who changed the way pop culture thinks about gay rights? The man who used his white privilege for good by showing us what white privilege truly is.

The Skidmore Student body is overwhelmingly joyed about this news. I just recently checked Robin Adams’ computer history and he’s watched 11 Macklemore videos in the last 12 hours, he even went back and watched his old shit like “Wings,” the song about Jordan’s where he talks about how he doesn’t like shoe culture but he still likes buying shoes so whatever, it’s cool.

Skidmore Unofficial talked to Chair of SEC Veronica Monroe about the big news, she was ecstatic: “We (SEC) really believed this was the perfect venue for a white rapper! We just know everybody wants to be having fun in the sun drinking beer and doing drugs and white rappers love that stuff!” She even went into the politics of it, “Plus, we know that there was some controversy when Danny Brown and Action Bronson came, so we wanted a rapper that has a really great moral code and promotes a progressive message.” She continued, “We looked into Asher Roth, Hoodie Allen, and Mac Miller but they were all booked, so we went with Macklemore, who, in my opinion, is the best white rapper ever.” We couldn’t agree more, Veronica. Not to mention, Macklemore is a role model for suburban hip hop heads all over this country. He’s walking proof that if you didn’t grow up in the hood, you, too, can be hip hop. And because Skidmore’s hip hop community is predominantly suburban white kids, this concert’s a perfect fit.

Get your Fun Day plans ready guys (meaning set up your molly hook up and start building that pot- powered octopus) because this is going to be huge.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, April 26th, Fun Day Green