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Comfest 2017: Drunk, High, Sober Review

Sunday, March 5th, 2017

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Hey daddies! Everyone remember Comfest from a few weeks ago? We do because we had a BLAST at that shindig. Funny is the new sexy, at least that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, The National College Comedy Festival is the biggest and awesomest college comedy festival in existence featuring student groups from around the country as well as really cool professional acts.

We sent three of our debauched writers to the first student show of Comfest under different states of inebriation to see what they thought. Please enjoy our drunk, high and sober review of Comfest. Comedians if you read this, sorry we did this to you. We respect your craft.

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First up on the roster, our resident alcoholic. Apparently there is no food or drink allowed in the theater but you’ll be glad to know our writer got fully away with it. Good luck with that in the future.

DRUNK

Time for comedy
Broccoli…why
I need to be more drunk for this
Is Jared Klein watching me
Don’t see the beard and weird cap so think I’m all good
Are bean boots part of their team uniform
Why is there so much fruit

I’m just so confused
I think I missed the premise of this so I’m confused
Why is this young man is yelling 80s songs at me
Tom and Jerry gay couple? I COULD BE INTO THAT
Man dropping the table during intermission
Highlight of my night
Now table I can get into
Did he just say vulva? You have my attention

I HAVE A CLASS WITH THAT KID IN THE BLACK SHIRT
They are all wearing black I am drunk
The wheelchair no absolutely not wow yes
That boy is so bendy
I wish the music was louder so I can truly jam
Omg property brothers that’s my shiiiiiiiit
Donald Glover DID win the Emmy
I don’t believe!! They’re brainwashing me!
This director sketch. Yep they’re definitely brainwashing me
I knew they would brainwash me at some point

These kids are legit!!! They’re wearing diapers!!!
CHEESE??! Officially the best group

Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence?
I thought this was supposed to be about Los Angeles
Wow v acrobatic

So confused by their voices
Is that ok?
BENDY BOY IS BACK
Yeah no forreal this tall beautiful girl has a weird voice
Boy byyyeeee

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Is this fun yet? I’m having fun, although I don’t feel like I know what happened at Comfest yet. Let’s try again with our high flyer.

 HIGH

Hi everyone and also hi me I will read this later
And also high me lol
Ready for some laughs
This is very crowded I feel crowded
Improvvv they make it up as they go along and THAT is fly
Tall blonde is so tall how tall are you boy
BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS
Stompy boots
I have to pee already
Siiinnngggiiinng. I thought this was comedy I did NOT expect singing
80s MUSIC IS THE BEST MUSIC
This is funny funny funny I am laughing now
SKETCHIEEEZZZZ SKIDMORE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS GO TEAM
Work those butts skinny boys
Bruno Mars used for a good cause
Twins are not saying the same things that is the joke I get it now someone explained it to me
GOD! HELLO GOD ITS ME IM HERE TOO
People are yelling I am scared
Dicks why too many dicks on the dance flooorrr
This skit is crazy what is happening am I losing it
DIAPERS
LITTLE BABY COMEDIANS AND COMEDIENNES
CHEEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEE
Omg cheese
Hot legs everywhere
Why aren’t my legs this hot
Tall bill was my father’s name
Girl is wearing a formal jacket with just a diaper aka life goals
MORE CHEESE ARE YOU KIDDING
Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence
Boys in green sweaters are better than boys not in green sweaters
YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT ON TV
THIS BOY ROCKS MY SOCKS IM NOT WEARING SOCKS
I forgot this was improv for a minute
Bad sketch. Good improv
I want to make stuff up
ORAL SEX JOKES LOL
The world needs more oral sex. Sex for everyone
Ok more Skidmore I’m ready
I want this girl’s hair
Not on my head just to have and to hold
SANTAA CHRISTMAS
Poetry is so weird
This is going on too long or I’m high
I think saw this same boy earlier. Where are you from funny boy
I want the cheese back
MORE CHEESE PLEASE
Ok it’s over im going to go get some cheese

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In case you were wondering, she did not get any cheese. And also Sargento was recalled the next day so whoever did get cheese, please let us know if you r ok. Finally, our sober reviewer, sorry that we made you do this.

 SOBER

BEGINNING THOUGHTS:
It’s actually very cool that our school does this
I thought everyone here was too clinically depressed and/or high to be funny
I seem to be sitting near the comedy kids section. Everyone is doing a bit.
Too many bits

THE WHISTLING SHRIMP:
Improv is the cause of my crippling anxiety
This boy in the green shirt looks like the PC from those Apple commercials
These people are all very loud but funny
The girls are the funniest. The feminist in me is pleased but still angry about the patriarchy

CHOCOLATE CAKE CITY:
Where is Emerson
I need to know what that boy puts in his hair
They’re all wearing plaid. I’m guessing this means Emerson is somewhere in the North East
Love Shack is a GREAT song and I will never admit otherwise
I would invest in this singing boy. He’s going places.

THE SKETCHIES:
People are very excited. This is the most school spirit I have ever seen
Way to go Skidmore, you apathetic nerds
No divorce, abortion, or suicide jokes yet. But this is only the first sketch
Dancing boy in the apron is the most excited person I have ever seen
Chanting really will excite any audience. Smart Sketchies
Haha. Dicks.
It’s funny because it’s true! Avant garde theater DOES suck!

LUNCHBOX:
Are they wearing diapers for no reason or did I miss something
None of these kids skip leg day. Surprising for comedy nerds. Well done
I’m naming my next pet Tall Bill. Very catchy
I think I have seen this sketch on SNL
Note to self: people love free cheese

FERAL CHRISTINE:
Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence?
This guy is really about bowling. Live your truth, man
Haha. Boys having sex!
I’m really sorry, I had to go to the bathroom at this point.
I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say this was HILARIOUS

AWKWARD KIDS TALKING:
More Skidmore! Are we a bit narcissistic? The audience is thrilled anyway
Some of these kids are very awkward but some are not. I feel misled
This boy coming up with rhymes on the spot is very impressive. I am not good at poetry
I want to know where this girl got her mom jeans. Mom jeans are still in, right?
Tall girl really likes to be on the floor

END THOUGHTS:
Generally glad I went to this
Generally un-glad that I had to be the sober one
Generally attracted to the 3 MCs/Producers. Anyone got their phone numbers? Lmk

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Thanks guys! What a journey we all went on together. I learned that at Comfest, there’s a lot of skinny boys and dancing and sometimes there’s free cheese. I will definitely be going back next year. A+ comedy nerds.

 

Alex, Chris and Anthony Improvise Funny Words And Actions

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Improv comedy is the hip, urban, second cousin of sketch comedy. It is like free-style rapping and therefore really cool. All the cool kids are doing it and one day it is going to make them millions of dollars.

Tonight at 10pm in JKB’s Studio B Alex Dayan ’11, Anthony Bentrovato ’11 and Chris Iredale ’11 of Dizzy Peoples fame will be showing all you motherfuckers how it is done. They are going to smash and bang it all the way to Shanghai and back. They are going to improvise the shit out of everything and serve you laughter on a silver platter. Show up and absorb their coolness before they graduate, move to LA and ‘make it.’

(fbook)