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Weekend Distractions CXXXXI

Thursday, February 9th, 2017


5:00pm – “What in God’s Name? Religion and Politics in the 2016 Presidential Election” @ Palamountain
5:00pm – Soundmind @ Tang
5:30pm – Art and the Brain @ Filene (Canceled – will be rescheduled)
6:00pm – Middle East Documentary Series @ Spa
6:30pm – Upstate Collage Night @ Tang (postponed until Thursday, February 23, 6:30)


12:00pm – Call Your Legislators Calling Party @ Spa
6:00pm – Big Green Scream @ Williamson Sports Center
7:00pm – Comfest @ JKB
8:00pm – Bartók Series: New Orford String Quartet @ Zankel
10:00pm – Black History Month Open Mic Night
10:30pm – Saratoga Sixteen and Hip Hop Showcase @ Tang


10:00am – Skidmore Alpine Ski Carnival @ Gore
5:00pm – Wind Festival Chamber Ensembles @ Zankel
7:00pm – Yuanxiao Festival Celebration @ ICC
7:00pm – Comfest @ JKB
8:00pm – New York Woodwind Quintet @ Zankel


10:00am – Skidmore Alpine Ski Carnival @ Gore
2:00pm – Wind Festival Concert Band @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Skidmore’s Guide to Super Bowl LI

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

mmmmm intimate
Let me get this straight, you go to Skidmore, you clicked on a SkidUnoffical link, and you chose a sports(ish) article?

You’re either really trying to impress that guy you met downtown who had the name of that team on a hat, you put your daddy’s fat stack of cash on the big game, or you’re horribly lost and confused. In that case, close the computer, spin around three times for good luck, lay down, dry-hump the floor, open your computer, and keep reading you brainwashed fuck.

If you haven’t heard, the dirty birds are taking on Brady and the boys this Sunday to compete for America’s ultimate prize; a chance to say “I’m going to Disney world” on live TV right after cracking skulls for five hours or however long that shit lasts.

In between all the chaos Lady Gaga will be performing the halftime show, which will give you the opportunity to actually recognize something on the screen for the first time in hours.

The game starts at 6:30 which should give you ample time to procrastinate all of your work and, finally, get blackout on a Sunday night for a sporting event you probably don’t give a shit about.

Whatever you do, don’t be that person at the party who is “just here for the commercials.” You’re not fooling anyone. 

For those of you still trying to figure out who to root for, consider this.

Reasons to root for the New England Patriots:

1. You’re from Boston or surrounding areas
2. A list has to have at least two things on it

Reasons to root for the Falcons:

1. You’re from Atlanta (but none of you are)
2. They’re the underdog and we like that, right?
3. They’ve never won a super bowl
4. They’re not the Patriots.
5. They play in a dome…that’s cool?
6. DOPE mascot

Reasons to root against the Patriots:

1. Brady and Trump are BFF’s
2. Coach Belicheck and Trump are BFF’s
3. Patriots Owner Robert Kraft and Trump are BFF’s
4. Do I really have to keep going?
5. Yes I do
6. Nevermind I don’t.
7. I think you get the picture
8. Ps deflategate
9. And also more cheating
10. Kthxbye

Reasons to root against the Falcons

1. You voted for trump.
2. You shouldn’t.

Enjoy the game!


Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

What’s up daddies and children of daddies. Have you ever read The New York Times and thought, “Okay, but I wish this pertained to me specifically.”
Well look no further, dear and valued reader. It’s us, your past, present, and future favorite news source: Skidmore Unofficial. Due to a brief hiatus, you are either too senile to remember us or too young to know who we are. Our noble mission is to bring you, the skidmore student, the fun, sexy scoop on everything (and we mean everything) going on on and near our beautiful, fugly campus. This coverage is including but not limited to: concerts, club performances, speakers, open mics, comedy, campus events, sporting events, and whatever else we think you delicious skanks desperately need to know about. We pledge to maintain the highest journalistic and moral integrity while reserving the right to goof. Read to keep up with campus goings-ons, read to tell your friends that you read something today, or read because we seem like we might secretly be cute and you want to have a talking point if you ever meet us around campus.

Active Minds Panel

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Active Minds is a new club dedicated to raising awareness and confronting mental health issues on campus, and they’re holding their first event on Wednesday.

The event is an open panel for people struggling with stress and mental illness, and will feature Andrew Molteni, a clinical psychologist in Skidmore’s Psych Department; the director of Skidmore’s Counseling Center; and various student representatives  with experiences dealing with various mental health issues.

There will also be “baked goods” which could really mean anything. Delicious homemade cookies or a box of fucking Entenmann’s, who knows?

Wednesday February 27, 7pm @ Emerson

(via Facebook)

Active Minds Interest Meeting Tonight

Wednesday, January 30th, 2013

Active Minds is a national non-profit dedicated to raising awareness of mental health issues on college campuses, and a few intrepid students are looking to start a chapter here at Skidmore. According to their PR thing, Active Minds chapters “raise mental health awareness, promote positive mental health, educate their peers about the signs and symptoms of mental health disorders and encourage students to reach out for help when needed.”

This is pretty important stuff, given the shameful lack of attention paid to student mental health here at Skidmore, despite a 50% increase in demand for appointments with the Counseling Center in the last few years.

Email stugendr@skidmore.edu for more questions. We’re all neurotic clowns up here anyway.

Wednesday January 30, 7pm @ Ladd 206 

Brace Yourselves for the Club Fair

Thursday, January 24th, 2013


Tomorrow is the Club Fair, your chance to feign interest in your peers’ interests and maybe see a horse take a dump or something. It’s pretty much the same every semester, but this time it’s been moved to the second floor of D-Hall for some reason.

Once again, I urge you all to sign up a friend (or Stephen Yell) for as many clubs as possible. Anime Club? Why the fuck not! Model EU? Sure! The possibilities are limitless.

Friday January 25, 3-5pm @ D-Hall second floor

Beatlemore Auditions

Friday, September 28th, 2012

Skidmore’s favorite tradition of listening to Beatles covers and Gordon Thompson talking is just around the corner, and the organizers will be accepting video auditions from any and all student bands starting next week, from October 1-10. All you have to do is email beatlemore@skidmore.edu for more info.

Beatlemore is a good excuse to “put yourself out there” and impress your peers with your free jazz interpretation of “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” For example, indie-folk darlings Bailiwick made their worldwide debut at Beatlemore 2009 and went on to conquer the hearts of the greater Saratoga region. Could be you!

WSPN Big Meeting Tonight

Sunday, September 16th, 2012

Barack Obama tunes in

The WSPN big meeting will be held tonight in Gannett. All interested DJs must attend the meeting, or email the lovely GM Annie Auchincloss for an application if you have fallen into a punji stick-lined pit and are thus unable to make it. You will learn important things like the on-air swearing policy (don’t do it EVER) and how to fix a busted transmitter (tearfully call Brendan Gaffney at grad school).

WSPN is the club with by far the highest levels of coolness per capita, so when you fill out your app, make sure you write all about how important Chief Keef and Riff Raff are to the future of hip hop so that the programmer Mac Parsons gives you a good time slot. Otherwise, good luck at 4am!

Sunday, September 16 in Gannett @ 8pm

Open Mic at Falstaff’s

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

If you’re feeling adventurous or you’re too young to go Downtown, schlep out to Falstaff’s tonight for Open Mic, presented by Lively Lucy’s. There will be loads of talented singer-songwriters, poets, comedians, clowns, breakdancers, magicians, traveling minstrels, Traveling Wilburys, sword swallowers, plate spinners, fire eaters, fabulists, flatulists, and guys fucking around with devil sticks.

Here’s a real-life endorsement from Brandon Dyer:

Last year’s first Open Mic was pretty amazing for me as a little guppy in the Skidmore sea.  Plus, now that I’m a seasoned open mic veteran I’ll be going to check out the incoming freshman talent as well as perform myself.  Come on, don’t be shy.  Even if you suck people will clap because you had the balls to perform.

Can’t argue with that. Go support your peers.

Thursday, September 13 in Falstaff’s @ 8pm

Sign Up for SGA Elections and Make a “Difference”

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Could be you someday

The country is slogging neck-deep through Silly Season, so this seems to be as good a time as any to plug SGA.

There’s an optional info meeting for Round 1 Elections tomorrow at 6pm in Ladd 307, followed by a mandatory meeting for all candidates on Friday at 5pm. Self-nominations are due at the SGA office on Friday at 4:30pm. If you’ve been staring woefully at the blank space under “Leadership and Activities” on your resume, then this might be your solution.

I myself am running for Northwoods Senator on the long-dormant Occupy Case Walkway ticket. I’m a successful entrepreneur with over thirty years of experience in the private sector, and I’m committed to getting Skidmore back to work!


Yes, I may be a tireless public servant, but I’m also a churchgoing family man. My loving wife, Babs, and I have taught our three wonderful children, Bucky, Hephzibah, and little Rowley Jr. that traditional values are what first made Skidmore the school it is today. It’s those same values that my own father—a hardscrabble quinoa farmer from the great town of Wilton—taught me as a boy, and it’s those values that will continue to make Skidmore the greatest liberal arts school on the face of the Earth!

[Applause, chants of “SKIDMORE! SKIDMORE! SKIDMORE!”]

Info meeting on Wednesday, September 12 in Ladd 307 @ 6pm
Self-nominations due Friday, September 14 in SGA Office @ 4:30pm
Candidate meeting on Friday, September 14 in Ladd 307 @5pm