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Some (Maybe?) Helpful Hints for Fun Day 2015

Friday, April 24th, 2015
Lest we forgot what the sky looked like on Fun Day last year.

Lest we forgot what the sky looked like on Fun Day last year.

Fun Day is tomorrow.

That’s really all there is to it, but while we have you here, let’s talk about it a little bit. Maybe you’re a seasoned pro by now. Maybe you’ve never experienced this sextravaganza (not a typo). Either way, it’s never too late/early to get some tips on how to get the most (or least) out of the coldest funnest day of the year. Because here at SkidUnofficial, we make mistakes so YOU don’t have to!

Obviously you’re going to make most of your Fun Day plans around your pals and how early they decide to get basic on the fourth floor of JoTo. But it’s worth thinking about the cornerstone of Fun Day…

No, not I’m not talking about pot (haha did you know there’s weed at this school?). I’m talking about the bands! Err…I mean the bands and DJs! Both! Both are equally valued on this site! Really! Honest!

Here’s the running order as of right now.

12:00 – Salmon of Knowledge
12:50 – Queen Ambrosia
1:40 – Trash Johnson
2:30 – Los Elk
3:20 – Karate
4:10 – Dope Mosely

See a band you wanna catch? Then make sure to drag your buds over to the green and soak up the tunes. What’s that? They’re not budging?! Fuck ’em! You can catch them later once they’ve done the dirty work of finding a place to lay the blanket.

But enough from me! Let me hand it over to some of my esteemed colleagues for them to share their endless bounty of wisdom.


It’s a marathon, not a sprint! Don’t be that person who passes out at 3pm only to wake up at 5 with a hangover so terrible it will awaken Lucy Scribner herself. Just let the day happen and the good time will roll along.

Dr. Spaceman:

Be whimsical as fuck, in both looks and spirits: if you ever publicly scorned those sexy pierced hula-hooping girls but secretly wanted to be them, Fun Day is your chance. Break out your lacy bralette and flower crowns or just go naked. Fun Day welcomes you as you are. Honestly, unless you intentionally try really hard to fuck things up, it will inevitably be a fun day for everyone. Go on all the fun bouncy rides–the grace period for it being socially acceptable to act like a kid is running out (unless you’re a freshman, in which case I hate you because I am a bitter washed-up senior), so take advantage while you can. Just enjoy everything around you, don’t fret about whether or not you look weird or if your crush is there or if you think you see your professor (I promise, you don’t [Executive Editor’s note: I saw mine last year]). Seriously, just be happy to be in the moment and check yo worries at the Case door.

Shifting into Mom Mode: If you’re going to be drinking that day, PLEASE take advantage of the food available. I didn’t my freshman year, and let’s just say I left a little gift near the Burgess tables. (Puke. The gift was puke.). Also, seriously, wear some fucking sunscreen. I know not everyone is as pale as me (OMG!!! I just gave my identity away! Hahahah just kidding, everyone at this school is a porcelain-white girl), but when you are drunkenly lying in the sun for like 5 hours, you WILL get burnt. Get turnt, don’t get burnt. No matter what the weather, I guarantee a Fun Day for all or your tuition money back (just kidding, Glotzbach needs the infinite tuition money for lifeblood).

Major Qwik:

There’s no shame in calling time-out and taking a break from the festivities. You might say that you’re going to see every band/DJ’s setlist, but odds are that probably won’t happen. Be realistic. Take care of yourself. If you’re hungry, head to dhall. If you need to load-up on water, head back to your dorm with a pal and have a h2h featuring vulnerability you never knew you had and will likely never see again. Now, of course, by “water” what I really mean is  MALIBU MALIBU ALL DAY WOOOO YOU ARE YOUNG AND IT IS FRESHMAN YEAR AND DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

(No, it doesn’t. You’ve peaked.)

Anyway, the point is that the aforementioend whimsical hula-hoopers will still be there when you get back. This shit really does go on for a while. So don’t worry about missing “the best part” while on your break. The whole day is the best part! Unless you don’t get the sunglasses. Then it’s best just to pack up before something really bad happens. Oh, and if you DO get sunglasses, don’t fall asleep with them on.Basic shit, but you’ll think your Uncle Qwik later. The weather app on my iPhone currently has a sun icon for Saturday, so it WILL be out for the majority of the day, presumably (as opposed to the 15 glorious minutes it was out for last year).

And another thing: don’t pull any of that “I’m just going back to my dorm to take a quick name then I’ll wake up RARIN’ TO GO” shit. That’s not going to happen. If you fall asleep on Fun Day, you won’t wake up. No, I don’t mean you’ll die (though for fuck’s sake don’t do that either). I mean you won’t wake up until Fun Day is over. And if that’s the case, well, you might as well have died.

Oh, and if you find yourself thinking “Well golly, this girl/guy sure is cute, let’s lickity-split and go to my SUPER SECRET SEMI-PUBLIC SEX SPOT” at any point past 2:00, don’t bother. It’s more than likely that your super secret semi-public sex spot isn’t all that super secret, and at least two other couples (or triads? Fun Day, remember?) will already be bumpin’ uglies. So unless you feel like negotiating the space (sharing is caring, after all), I suggest you get more creative or just have sex in a dorm like the good Christian boy/girl you know yourself to be.

Hannibal Burgess:

“Fun Day is the only day where if you don’t look like an idiot, you look like an idiot.”

And if you haven’t found that interesting enough, here’s 14 fun facts about Robin Adams! The more you know. (Edit: The link is down. But here’s his website in case you still need to fill your RA quota for the week!)

Weekend Distractions CXXXVII

Friday, April 10th, 2015

6:00pm – Shared Spaces Closing Reception @ Spring Street Gallery
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
8:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

3:00pm – Clothing Swap Shop @ Spa
4:00pm – Fun Day Band & DJ Submissions Due @ Skidmore
4:00pm – Fun Day Poster Design Submissions Due @ Skidmore
5:00pm – Madeleine Kanazawa and Katerina Vujić Joint Recital @ Zankel
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
8:00pm – Element Fashion Show @ The Tang
8:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

2:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
3:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Skidmore Unofficial’s Official Survival Guide to Fun Day Weekend

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014
Yes.  It's a fun day.  People are excited.  Stay safe and clean up your fucking trash.

Yes. It’s a fun day. People are excited. Stay safe and clean up your fucking trash.

Ah, yes.  It’s finally time to begin preparing for Fun Day weekend.  Classes are winding down, the weather is improving, and everyone on campus is ready to blow off a little (a lot) of steam.  With a crazy busy weekend of debauchery ahead, we figured you should all get a quick rundown on how you should prepare and how it’ll all go down.

Get all of your homework done.  Seriously.  The last thing you’ll want to do is school work the day after Fun Day.  Even if you’re not planning on drinking Saturday, everyone in your life will be either exhausted, hung over, sunburnt, or some combination of the three.  It’s best to get things out of the way and give yourself time to recuperate and to watch Netflix.  Also, it’s a great chance to talk with your friends about who’s buying what alcohol for the weekend, where you’re pregaming (and gaming), and the easiest way to eat a hearty breakfast.

The Happening.  It’s Lively Lucy’s crazy ridiculous ’60s art throwback to the times of Andy Warhol and recreational acid tripping in the East Village. It’s at Falstaff’s.  Way more clubs than you can count come together for wacky, zany cross-pollenated artistic activities.  And if you’re not into that type of thing, take this as your last chance to get your work done for the weekend and to rest up.

Get your booze!  Get your food!  Take the time when you’re done with classes to stock up on your Fun Day supplies.  This includes (but isn’t limited to) alcohol, hearty breakfast food, mid-day snacks, an opaque water bottle, SUNSCREEN, enough cigarettes to get you through a week (trust me), a backpack, whatever other substances you plan on consuming, and potentially a parasol.  By this point you should know who you’re partying with and where, too.  And at night, it’s the Tang Party!  Go take a walk outside the Tang and check out some sweet student art installations.  It’s also featuring a pretty sweet lineup of student bands that aren’t on the Fun Day roster: Psymon Spine, Pooch, Triceracops, and Queen Ambrosia.  While it may be your natural inclination to drink to your heart’s content on a Friday night, we advise building up to a very slight buzz and stopping there.  You’re going to consume a lot of alcohol on Fun Day, and you want to give your body time to flush out whatever you’ve been drinking the night before, so make sure it’s not too much.


Yes, people will be in headdresses and minimal clothes, keep your composure, it’s Fun Day

It’s here!  It’s Fun Day!  Take a look at  your daily schedule:
8:15am- Wake up!  Crack a beer and make a mimosa cuz it’s time for Fun Day!  Start slow and steady to stay safe.
8:40am- Shower beer.  Fucking do it.
9:15am- Off campus?  Time to get the fuck on campus so you’re not designating a driver the morning of Fun Day.  Bring cab fare.
9:30am- Breakfast.  Whether it’s dhall or cooking in the apartments, make sure you eat a great breakfast.  Maybe try a Bloody Mary or just have another PBR and a shot of Crystal Palace
10:20am- Begin preparing the day’s worth of drunk juice.  For my friends and me, that is a gin bucket.  Take a large plastic bin and empty in it three of the cheapest handles of gin you can find.  Pair that with seven bottles of Fresca, a bag of quartered and squeezed limes, and a bag of ice from Stewart’s.  Stir and drink.
11:00am- Apply sunscreen.  Use the nasty spray stuff to cake yourself and some nicer cream shit for your face.  Why am I even telling you this?  You’re a college student!
11:20am- Partake in an outdoor activity as you make your way to the green.  Bocce, frisbee, a rousing game of catch, I don’t give a fuck.  Just make sure you’re on the South Park Green (that’s the one behind the library, not in front of dhall) by noon.  Get your spot, grab some free sunglasses courtesy of SGA, and try not to throw up on Robin Adams.  Throw up on Josh Nelson.
12:00pm- Beardo Otter takes the stage!  Woo live music!
12:50pm- OJ Johnson DJ set. Re-up on booze from your dorm.
1:15pm- Eat something hearty and with lots of protein and carbs.  Drink some water while you’re at it.
1:20pm- There will be a naked run.  You will see your Outing Club friends naked.  Just keep drinking and it will all end soon.
1:40pm- Bo Peep and the Funk Sheep plays!  More live music and dancing!
2:30pm- DJDLi (Daniel Li) DJ set. Try out the bounce house!
3:20pm- Los Elk plays!  The trifecta of animal themed bands is complete!
4:10pm- Lt. Surge (Allan Brown & Zach Gordon) DJ set. Are you still safe?
5:00pm- Nap.  Seriously.  Crash, pass out, and get some sleep to get the drunk out of you.  You’ve been sitting outside in the sun consuming ungodly portions of alcohol all day.  Give your body a break.
8:00pm- Eat something.  Preferably greasy and from Char Koon.  Drink a lot of water, take some Tylenol, and try to get your body started briefly.
9:00pm- Take a SOBER walk outside.  You’re too tired to drink or smoke some pot still.  The fresh air will do you some good.
9:45pm- It’s make-or-break-o’clock.  Decide if you’re going out or not.  I will not.  You may, but be respectful of the people who went way harder than you and still can’t move.
1:00am- Go the fuck to sleep.

Take a personal day.  For once you don’t have to do anything on a Sunday.  Stay in bed, watch some Netflix, and snack your ass off throughout the day.  Perfect chance to catch up on Game of Thrones.  Drink lots of water.

And there you have it!  Just remember to stay safe, know your limits, and have a great weekend.  Try not to spoil this for the future Skidmore generations…


BREAKING: Macklemore Headlining Fun Day! (Update: April Fools)

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

I know many of you are upset with SEC for not booking a Big Show for this semester. They have so much money, there are so many great musicians out there, and we’re such a great host college for concerts, and yet, the Entertainment Committee still couldn’t get their shit together.

But that’s behind us, because this morning we received breaking news that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis will be headlining this Spring’s Fun Day! That’s fucking Macklemore, the white knight of hip hop music, coming to our quaint liberal arts college. He is going to turn the fuck up. You know, Macklemore, the most progressive hip hopper ever to win a Grammy? The man who changed the way pop culture thinks about gay rights? The man who used his white privilege for good by showing us what white privilege truly is.

The Skidmore Student body is overwhelmingly joyed about this news. I just recently checked Robin Adams’ computer history and he’s watched 11 Macklemore videos in the last 12 hours, he even went back and watched his old shit like “Wings,” the song about Jordan’s where he talks about how he doesn’t like shoe culture but he still likes buying shoes so whatever, it’s cool.

Skidmore Unofficial talked to Chair of SEC Veronica Monroe about the big news, she was ecstatic: “We (SEC) really believed this was the perfect venue for a white rapper! We just know everybody wants to be having fun in the sun drinking beer and doing drugs and white rappers love that stuff!” She even went into the politics of it, “Plus, we know that there was some controversy when Danny Brown and Action Bronson came, so we wanted a rapper that has a really great moral code and promotes a progressive message.” She continued, “We looked into Asher Roth, Hoodie Allen, and Mac Miller but they were all booked, so we went with Macklemore, who, in my opinion, is the best white rapper ever.” We couldn’t agree more, Veronica. Not to mention, Macklemore is a role model for suburban hip hop heads all over this country. He’s walking proof that if you didn’t grow up in the hood, you, too, can be hip hop. And because Skidmore’s hip hop community is predominantly suburban white kids, this concert’s a perfect fit.

Get your Fun Day plans ready guys (meaning set up your molly hook up and start building that pot- powered octopus) because this is going to be huge.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, April 26th, Fun Day Green

Get Your Asses Out Here

Saturday, April 27th, 2013

It’s happening. Stay hydrated, don’t swim in the lake, be respectful of Campo, and if you’re doing the naked run, don’t let your junk get caught in a door/popcorn machine.

Also, check out this cute poem senior Ethan Paul submitted to us:

‘Twas the night before Fun Day, when all through the dorm,
Not a student was stirring, ‘cept Hipster kid, Norm.
The liquor was hid in the closet with care,
For fear that some Campo would come looking there.

The students were restless, all dancing with glee,
For visions of parties: one, two, maybe three,
Were filling their heads, when they laid down to sleep,
Waiting for morning, which came at a creep.

And then next thing I know, at mid-day there’s a clatter,
I rolled out of bed, my poor sleep left in tatters.
Away ‘cross the room, I threw open the dormer,
And looked towards the green, saw the day getting warmer.

The sun through the glass shone upon my dull eyes,
Saying “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, it’s time to catch wise,
To the marvels around you, this fine time in May,
Get your bottom in motion, it’s time for Fun Day.”

So up did I get, put on clothes, grabbed some gin,
Met my friends on the green, time for fun to begin.
We cracked open bottles, grabbed glasses, and snacks,
I pulled out my pipe, someone passed me a flask.

We drank and we smoked till we all felt content,
Then we sprang up, and ho! Towards the castle we went!
To bounce! We would get there no matter the cost,
Yet somehow, in going, we seemed to get lost.

Have we passed by the popcorn one time or two?
I swear I saw Case, have we done and gone through?
No way, we’re out by the art building guys,
Did you just see naked people run by?

Then we stopped for some burgers, a hot dog, some beer,
Though we hadn’t yet bounced we were still in good cheer.
We had food, and good friends, not just spirits were high,
At the end of all this, a great night was yet nigh.

Soon we broke to take naps, we’d meet after to sup’,
Decide nighttime events, figure out what was up.
Sleep should be restoring, I gave in, I ceded,
Yet after, I felt like my brain had been kneaded.

It was pounding, and throbbing, it hurt like a bitch,
Not just that, but my neck was beginning to itch.
My back was in pain; my legs were all red,
And it felt like some ages since I had been fed.

Took a look at the clock, saw the time, and I ran,
I was late for my friends, they’d already began.
I was starving, my stomach knew that much was true,
And on the way over, I vommed on a shoe.

I looked ’round me at dinner, my friends barely speaking,
‘Tween the brain and the mouth, oh their thoughts, they were leaking.
And ev’ryone round me looked quite a bit rougher,
We’d beasted the day, but our night now would suffer.

We looked at each other, eyes begging for rest,
Fin’lly someone relented, “a movie’d be best?”
“Thank god” we responded, as tensions, they fled,
“After that,” then I said, “I think I’ll go to bed.”

So a movie was watched, it had Dame Judi Dench,
We all fell asleep, they were speaking in French.
And though I was hungover, which hurt like Pompeii,
For Fun Day, alas, it’s the price that we pay. –ezp

Fun is Nigh

Saturday, April 28th, 2012


It’s finally here. Have a blast, but be careful, everyone. Don’t swim in the pond, don’t pet the police horses, and don’t pass out before noon. Otherwise, let’s roll.

Memories From Fun Day And The Tang Party

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Dub Step As Religion


Calder Wilson ’11, who also did this and won this, posted some photos of this past week’s Tang Party and Fun Day. Browse around and fill in the parts of your memory that may be hazy. 

This also happened.

Have Fun

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Wash your pinnys and rack up your Keystones because it is Fun Day, motherfuckers. Skidmore’s annual festival in celebration of getting drunk and sunburned is upon us, and I just want to remind everyone to tread carefully.

Regardless of what your suitemates tell you, Fun Day is not about vomiting in bouncy castles or getting weird rashes after swimming in the pond.  Fun Day is about forgetting to reapply sunscreening. Fun Day is about mustard stains on your shirt. Fun Day is about pouring cups of beer on your friends. Fun Day is about laughing really hard at what those hippies are doing under that tree. Fun Day is about neon colored sunglasses. Fun Day is about good old fashioned fun.

This year a few Campo Officers have decided to get into the dunk tank which is wonderful news for those of us that have always wondered what the guy who busted us for peeing in Case Lot looks like in his bathing suit.

My only real piece of advice is to take a nap in the late afternoon. Trust me.

Clear Fun Day Skies

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Usually I would rather eat someone else’s fingernails than read/write about the weather on the internet but recently the weather has  been some bullshit. I woke up early on Saturday to walk to campus and there was snow on the ground.

This is supposed to be the time of year when pale legs blossom on Case Green and I remember that people have shoulders. People should be annoying me by playing Frisbee all the time and instead everyone is just slouching around in raincoats like it is still March.

Anyhoo, the reason I am writing this post is to tell everyone that the weather prophets have predicted clear skies for Fun Day. Yep.

Student Bands Playing Fun Day

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

If I could do college over, instead of being a slippingly anonymous blogger with caffeine headaches and bad skin I would be in a band.

I would play my instrument with my golden fingers and drive freshmen wild and people would carry me on their shoulders and my whole college career would be like one of the better montages from Almost Famous.

In this college-do-over-fantasy, my band and I play Fun Day and when I look out over the crowd of students, pale shouldered and drunk behind neon sunglasses I can see that I have melted their minds with my amazing guitar solo. The crowd literally has their melted brains dripping out of their ears and nose and I am fucking shredding on my ax and then fireworks go off behind me as I am lifted up by a crane and carried, dove like over the crowd, to a jacuzzi filled with champagne, a cold jacuzzi filled with champagne, where I am greeted by every girl I have ever crushed on, even my first German au-pair.

I think this is what having your band play Fun Day is like. Alas, I can only speculate. But you, Lucky Musician, you can live the dream. You and your band can play Fun Day. All you need to do to begin living your dream is click here. Sieze this opportunity! These are the best days of your life! You’re only young once! I am still in love with my baby sitter from 6th grade!