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Wafflefest TONIGHT at 8:00!

Sunday, December 14th, 2014

Nothing you eat at Wafflefest will look like this.

Do you want to enjoy a meal without having to lie your way swipe in to dhall? Then swing by your only favorite dining hall between 8:00 and 11:00 tonight for Wafflefest, co-sponsored by yo’ waffle daddies on SGA’s Committee on Student Life and Dining Services!

If you’re (still) new here, Wafflefest is a beloved tradition here at Skidmore. You know, like Fun Day. Or complaining about not getting into Wesleyan (did I make that joke already??), but with more waffles. Lots more waffles. And dessert pizza. And doughnuts. And salad–if you, like me, are trying to keep an eye your carb intake.

It’s totally free to all students. But the line is always hella long, so you should definitely show up before 8:00 or have one of your pals keep you posted on what the line looks like. And it will be insanely packed, so have one of said pals grab you a seat. And it’ll be noisy. Real noisy. Utter chaos. Los Elk will probably be playing.

To be honest, it’s a super stressful experience (ever seen Full Metal Jacket?) but you really can’t say no to free food, and it’s kind of a rite of passage. Plus this is like the last “thing” going on this semester, so ring in the end of the semester (or beginning of finals, if you’re a masochist) with some comfort food. You’re gonna need it.

Just kidding.

(Editor’s Note: No he’s not.)

How to Be an Asshole: D-Hall Edition

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Trying to find more ways to be a terrible person or maybe just looking for a way to spice up your Tuesday afternoon? How about try being an asshole in D-Hall? Lots of people practice asshole-like behaviors in our beloved dining hall and by following these simple rules, you too can be a D-Hall douchebag!

dhall

You could have easily consolidated that into one plate.

Upon Entering the Atrium,

  • be sure to make your voice really loud so as to disrupt everyone trying to do work.
  • sit in the comfy chairs to wait for your friends, but make sure to spread out so you are taking up all four of the chairs – backpack in one, coat on another, you get the idea.
  • walk around the Atrium Cafe, picking things up and moving them around as you “consider” buying them.

While Swiping Your Card,

  • take five minutes to find your card in your bag.
  • when you find your card, make sure it’s prepared to fall out of its card case. This way, the person swiping your card will have to get out of their seat and pick it up to swipe it.
  • attach your lanyard to everything else you own – your car keys, your wallet, your phone. If you’re feeling especially rude, attach it to your backpack and refuse to move closer as they try to swipe it.
  • never actually hand your card to the worker – make them work for it.
  • better yet, forget your card all together and/or try to sneak in. If they catch you, make sure you claim some sort of discrimination – I mean, you are a 20-year-old white, male college student at an elite institution in the northeast, you’re definitely being discriminated against.

While Choosing Your Food,

  • definitely don’t look around before you choose what you want, just take everything as you go by it.
  • cut people in line, saying you “just need to grab something.”
  • whenever you come across a meal that’s plated on one of those small plates, dump it onto your bigger plate and leave the little plate for the D-Hall workers to clean up for you.

At Your Table,

  • pour salt everywhere.
  • spill your drinks and food all over the table.
  • just generally be as messy as possible.
  • take all the chairs from the tables around you to make room for your friends.
  • be really loud, lean back in your chair so that you bump against people, and take up as many tables as you can.
  • cover your table in as many plates as you can.
  • play games like “stack the cups on their ends” and “stack the salt and pepper shakers from all the nearby tables.”

When Returning Your Dishes,

  • drop your plates on the ground on the way to the dishroom and leave all the food where you dropped it.
  • put sticky and/or gross things (like honey, syrup, oatmeal, etc.) in between all your dishes to secure them to one another.
  • stack as many cups as you can.
  • put all your napkins into a cup full of water. Or milk. That’s even better.
  • make sure you don’t follow what the signs say and leave all your napkins and silverware on your plate(s).
  • even better, don’t clean up your dishes at all. Play your part in enhancing the Skidmore stereotype of spoiled, entitled kids who mommy and daddy have taken care of their whole lives – you pay $60,000 a year to be here, you deserve someone to clean up after you.

So there it is, the easy, straightforward rules about how to be an asshole in D-Hall. If you only remember three things from this whole list, remember to be as messy as possible, be rude to everyone who works in D-Hall, and act as entitled as you can.

We Take Nostalgia Dairy Seriously

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

This is why Media Services has Photoshop.

Spring Break is approaching and we all know D-Hall likes to repeat menus week after week. Even though putting bread and cheese together takes minimal effort, and is the perfect cop out for “what do we serve to hold the kids over until they leave?”, let’s be real: grilled cheese is the best.

Eating them makes you feel like you are 10, and who doesn’t love that Kraft commercial where they pull the sandwich apart and the cheese parts down the middle perfectly. That little girl at the end of the commercial looks so happy. And look how the cheese squares form into bags of money!

Yes, I tire of the monotony of the predictable dining hall every once in a while. But if you weren’t lining up for grilled cheese at The Diner, you’d definitely be making it in your Scribner House, hoping no one is going to break in to steal your cans of tomato soup (too soon?)

 

This is another guest post, as we’re currently looking for juniors, sophomores and freshmen to fill our size 14 EEEE shoes. Email rowley@skidmoreunofficial.com with your CV and head-shot. No just kidding, send him a post (title, picture, etc.).