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Comfest 2017: Drunk, High, Sober Review

Sunday, March 5th, 2017

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Hey daddies! Everyone remember Comfest from a few weeks ago? We do because we had a BLAST at that shindig. Funny is the new sexy, at least that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, The National College Comedy Festival is the biggest and awesomest college comedy festival in existence featuring student groups from around the country as well as really cool professional acts.

We sent three of our debauched writers to the first student show of Comfest under different states of inebriation to see what they thought. Please enjoy our drunk, high and sober review of Comfest. Comedians if you read this, sorry we did this to you. We respect your craft.

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First up on the roster, our resident alcoholic. Apparently there is no food or drink allowed in the theater but you’ll be glad to know our writer got fully away with it. Good luck with that in the future.

DRUNK

Time for comedy
Broccoli…why
I need to be more drunk for this
Is Jared Klein watching me
Don’t see the beard and weird cap so think I’m all good
Are bean boots part of their team uniform
Why is there so much fruit

I’m just so confused
I think I missed the premise of this so I’m confused
Why is this young man is yelling 80s songs at me
Tom and Jerry gay couple? I COULD BE INTO THAT
Man dropping the table during intermission
Highlight of my night
Now table I can get into
Did he just say vulva? You have my attention

I HAVE A CLASS WITH THAT KID IN THE BLACK SHIRT
They are all wearing black I am drunk
The wheelchair no absolutely not wow yes
That boy is so bendy
I wish the music was louder so I can truly jam
Omg property brothers that’s my shiiiiiiiit
Donald Glover DID win the Emmy
I don’t believe!! They’re brainwashing me!
This director sketch. Yep they’re definitely brainwashing me
I knew they would brainwash me at some point

These kids are legit!!! They’re wearing diapers!!!
CHEESE??! Officially the best group

Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence?
I thought this was supposed to be about Los Angeles
Wow v acrobatic

So confused by their voices
Is that ok?
BENDY BOY IS BACK
Yeah no forreal this tall beautiful girl has a weird voice
Boy byyyeeee

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Is this fun yet? I’m having fun, although I don’t feel like I know what happened at Comfest yet. Let’s try again with our high flyer.

 HIGH

Hi everyone and also hi me I will read this later
And also high me lol
Ready for some laughs
This is very crowded I feel crowded
Improvvv they make it up as they go along and THAT is fly
Tall blonde is so tall how tall are you boy
BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS
Stompy boots
I have to pee already
Siiinnngggiiinng. I thought this was comedy I did NOT expect singing
80s MUSIC IS THE BEST MUSIC
This is funny funny funny I am laughing now
SKETCHIEEEZZZZ SKIDMORE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS GO TEAM
Work those butts skinny boys
Bruno Mars used for a good cause
Twins are not saying the same things that is the joke I get it now someone explained it to me
GOD! HELLO GOD ITS ME IM HERE TOO
People are yelling I am scared
Dicks why too many dicks on the dance flooorrr
This skit is crazy what is happening am I losing it
DIAPERS
LITTLE BABY COMEDIANS AND COMEDIENNES
CHEEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEE
Omg cheese
Hot legs everywhere
Why aren’t my legs this hot
Tall bill was my father’s name
Girl is wearing a formal jacket with just a diaper aka life goals
MORE CHEESE ARE YOU KIDDING
Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence
Boys in green sweaters are better than boys not in green sweaters
YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT ON TV
THIS BOY ROCKS MY SOCKS IM NOT WEARING SOCKS
I forgot this was improv for a minute
Bad sketch. Good improv
I want to make stuff up
ORAL SEX JOKES LOL
The world needs more oral sex. Sex for everyone
Ok more Skidmore I’m ready
I want this girl’s hair
Not on my head just to have and to hold
SANTAA CHRISTMAS
Poetry is so weird
This is going on too long or I’m high
I think saw this same boy earlier. Where are you from funny boy
I want the cheese back
MORE CHEESE PLEASE
Ok it’s over im going to go get some cheese

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In case you were wondering, she did not get any cheese. And also Sargento was recalled the next day so whoever did get cheese, please let us know if you r ok. Finally, our sober reviewer, sorry that we made you do this.

 SOBER

BEGINNING THOUGHTS:
It’s actually very cool that our school does this
I thought everyone here was too clinically depressed and/or high to be funny
I seem to be sitting near the comedy kids section. Everyone is doing a bit.
Too many bits

THE WHISTLING SHRIMP:
Improv is the cause of my crippling anxiety
This boy in the green shirt looks like the PC from those Apple commercials
These people are all very loud but funny
The girls are the funniest. The feminist in me is pleased but still angry about the patriarchy

CHOCOLATE CAKE CITY:
Where is Emerson
I need to know what that boy puts in his hair
They’re all wearing plaid. I’m guessing this means Emerson is somewhere in the North East
Love Shack is a GREAT song and I will never admit otherwise
I would invest in this singing boy. He’s going places.

THE SKETCHIES:
People are very excited. This is the most school spirit I have ever seen
Way to go Skidmore, you apathetic nerds
No divorce, abortion, or suicide jokes yet. But this is only the first sketch
Dancing boy in the apron is the most excited person I have ever seen
Chanting really will excite any audience. Smart Sketchies
Haha. Dicks.
It’s funny because it’s true! Avant garde theater DOES suck!

LUNCHBOX:
Are they wearing diapers for no reason or did I miss something
None of these kids skip leg day. Surprising for comedy nerds. Well done
I’m naming my next pet Tall Bill. Very catchy
I think I have seen this sketch on SNL
Note to self: people love free cheese

FERAL CHRISTINE:
Since when do men go to Sarah Lawrence?
This guy is really about bowling. Live your truth, man
Haha. Boys having sex!
I’m really sorry, I had to go to the bathroom at this point.
I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say this was HILARIOUS

AWKWARD KIDS TALKING:
More Skidmore! Are we a bit narcissistic? The audience is thrilled anyway
Some of these kids are very awkward but some are not. I feel misled
This boy coming up with rhymes on the spot is very impressive. I am not good at poetry
I want to know where this girl got her mom jeans. Mom jeans are still in, right?
Tall girl really likes to be on the floor

END THOUGHTS:
Generally glad I went to this
Generally un-glad that I had to be the sober one
Generally attracted to the 3 MCs/Producers. Anyone got their phone numbers? Lmk

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Thanks guys! What a journey we all went on together. I learned that at Comfest, there’s a lot of skinny boys and dancing and sometimes there’s free cheese. I will definitely be going back next year. A+ comedy nerds.

 

Weekend Distractions CXXXX

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

THURSDAY: 

5:00pm – Unity Gathering @ Zankel
5:30pm – Juried Skidmore Student Exhibition Opening @ Schick Gallery
6:30pm – WSPN Big Meeting @ Gannett
7:00pm – Gala Concerto Concert @ Zankel
7:00pm – Exploring Museum Careers @ Tang
7:00pm – The New McKrells @ The Parting Glass
8:00pm – Open Mic Night @ Falstaffs
9:00pm – Trivia Night @ Spa

FRIDAY:

2:30pm – Grand Opening of Beekman Bar + Eatery @ 62 Beekman
4:30pm – Skidmore Outing Club Big Meeting @ Davis
7:00pm – Men’s Ice Hockey: Skidmore vs Castleton @ ICE Weibel Ave Ice Rink
9:00pm – This is Spinal Tap Party feat. William Hale w/ Eternal Crimes @ Ye Olde Wishin’ Shoppe [Ballston Spa]
10:30pm Mahadhi Walker @ Putnam Den

SATURDAY:
11:00am – CHOWDERFEST @ Broadway
10:00pm – 100 Days Dance [what you don’t know won’t hurt you]

SUNDAY:
6:30 – Super Bowl LI

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

The Bootleggers present WILD TIMES 20/80!!! (stop it you lazy prohibition sluts) to Run April 28-30

Monday, April 27th, 2015
I truly don't know what to expect.

I truly don’t know what to expect.

Tomorrow night, April 28th, marks the debut of The Bootleggers present WILD TIMES 20/80!!! (stop it you lazy prohibition sluts): an audience-immersive performance-party by the Battery Candle Theatre Collective, which will run until Thursday night.

The site-specific show is created, directed, and co-choreographed by Kev Berry, and will take place at Saratoga Music Hall at 6:45 April 28-30. I’d try to succinctly summarize the show, but I think the best I can do is just provide the description from the show’s Facebook event.

The Bootleggers present WILD TIMES 20/80!!! (stop it you lazy prohibition sluts) is a two-hour promenade performance. This means that guests will be asked and encouraged to explore the space freely for the duration of the party. The experience is a personal journey and you may find yourself separated from your group. This also means that there is no seating. If you feel that to enjoy a theatrical event, you would require a seat, we are sorry, but this may not be the show for you. No concessions will be made on this matter.

 

Tickets are free, and guests will be required to wear provided white Venetian ball masks for the duration of the performance and are strongly encouraged to adhere to a decadent dress code in shades of white, grey, black, and gold, with comfortable footwear and contact lenses instead of spectacles, if possible.

WILD TIMES 20/80!!! also features an ensemble of performers from the Theater and Dance departments, as well as co-choreography by Jacqueline Courchene and installation design by Mercury Hogan.

In other words, there are a whole lot of people involved with this interesting piece of work–and the piece is totally student-produced by Berry with the help of grants–so high-tail it over to Saratoga Music Hall for what is sure to be an exciting and different performance experience.

Weekend Distractions CXXXVII

Friday, April 10th, 2015

FRIDAY:
6:00pm – Shared Spaces Closing Reception @ Spring Street Gallery
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
8:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

SATURDAY:
3:00pm – Clothing Swap Shop @ Spa
4:00pm – Fun Day Band & DJ Submissions Due @ Skidmore
4:00pm – Fun Day Poster Design Submissions Due @ Skidmore
5:00pm – Madeleine Kanazawa and Katerina Vujić Joint Recital @ Zankel
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
8:00pm – Element Fashion Show @ The Tang
8:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

SUNDAY:
2:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: Blood Wedding @ JKB Theater
3:00pm – Skidmore Dance Presents: Sleeping Beauty @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Weekend Distractions CXXXVI

Friday, April 3rd, 2015

FRIDAY:
7:00pm – Cabaret Troupe Presents Urinetown @ Filene
7:00pm – Easter Gala @ Wilson
8:00pm – RAICES Arts Festival @ Spa
8:00pm – Senior Dance Capstone @ Dance Theater
10:00pm – Awkward. (AKT Final Show) @ Gannett
10:00pm – “Missy Elliott” ft. Sonneteers & Banders @ Wilson

SATURDAY:
2:00pm – Senior Dance Capstone @ Dance Theater
7:00pm – Cabaret Troupe Presents Urinetown @ Filene
8:00pm – Senior Dance Capstone @ Dance Theater
8:00pm – International Cultural Show: Pangea @ Spa

SUNDAY:
12:00am – Resurrection of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Breakbeats Friday!!!

Tuesday, March 24th, 2015

Hey, I get it!

This is the LAST Breakbeats showcase of the SEMESTER. Friday the 27th, 8pm, Filene.

BUT WAIT, there’s more! 213, Rithmos, Stompin’ Soles, Circus Club, Sonneteers, Ujima, and Pulse will also be at this event! Wow, that’s a lot of clubs… in the words of that Fuccillo car salesman dude… ITS GONNA BE HUUUUUUGE

Also according to an inside source, “It’s Hunger Games themed so get ready for Katniss braids, battles to the death, and awesome dancing.”BATTLES TO THE DEATH WHAT THATS ILLEGAL you’ll just have to go and see if they’re serious or not!

Also check out the event HERE on facebook!!!

Weekend Distractions CXXXII

Friday, February 20th, 2015

FRIDAY:
5:15pm – Lecture: “The Question of the Future” by Barbara Black @ Davis
6:00pm – Bellydance Workshop @ Falstaff’s
7:00pm – Banff Film Fest @ Zankel

SATURDAY:
3:00pm – Dance Workshop with Crazy Legs @ The Tang (Payne Room)
6:30pm – Hip Hop Dance Competition @ The Tang (Payne Room)
7:00pm – Student Gala Concerto Concert @ Zankel
7:30pm – Sushi Dinner & Film Screening: Jiro Dreams of Sushi @ Gannett
8:00pm – Free Show: Juliet Kleber and Colonel Seamus @ 130 Woodlawn Ave
9:00pm – AKT Presents: Improvised Movie Database @ Filene
9:00pm – Winter Warm Up @ Spa

SUNDAY:
2:00pm – Women’s Basketball vs. Clarkson
3:00pm – John Chowning Performance @ Zankel
4:00pm – Men’s Basketball vs. Clarkson
7:45pm – Oscar’s Viewing Party @ Gannett

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Weekend Distractions CXXVIII

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

THURSDAY:
7:30pm – Project VIS Keynote: Chip Kidd @ Gannett
8:00pm – SEC Presents: Speedy Ortiz & Jawbreaker Reunion @ Falstaff’s

FRIDAY:
5:00pm – Swimming & Diving vs. Oneonta
7:00pm – Ice Hockey vs. NEC
7:00pm – Philippa Levine: “Nakedness: Colonialism & the Human Body” @ Davis
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: American Medea @ JKB Theater

SATURDAY:
1:00pm – Chess Tournament @ Pal 304
3:00pm – Choreo II Class Showing @ Dance Theater
3:00pm – “FFFem Feminist, Female, Feminine, etc. Monologues” Writing Workshop @ ICC
4:00pm – Ice Hockey vs. St. Anselm
6:00pm – Men’s Basketball vs. Ithaca
8:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: American Medea @ JKB Theater
8:00pm – Community Chorus & Vocal Chamber Ensemble @ Zankel
8:00pm – Circus Club Presents: The Elements @ Filene
10:30pm – The Sketchies Present: Fraternity Leave @ Gannett

SUNDAY:
2:00pm – Skidmore Theater Presents: American Medea @ JKB Theater
3:00pm – Skidmore Concert Band Performance @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the comments!

Club Showcase Tonight in Zankel

Saturday, September 6th, 2014

You know the deal. Kind of. The annual Club Showcase is tonight at 5pm and 8pm. This event is the newest manifestation of Freshman Showcase, which was when has previously been when every freshman crowded into the JKB, all the performance clubs would do something impressive for a couple minutes, the Banderstatchers would perform that one song, and, most notably, members of SGA would moonlight as emcees and make some cripplingly painful puns about whatever club was about to perform.

This year is a little different, however, as they’re not only moving the event to the more performance friendly Ladd Concert Hall in Zankel, but the event is now officially open to all students. But odds are pretty high that the Banders will still be performing that one song.

Club showcase will look nothing like this.

Club showcase will look nothing like this.

There are two shows, one at 5pm and one at 8pm. Freshmen will get priority tickets from their Peer Mentors, but at some point the rest of the community will be able to get in and watch the show. Most of the clubs are desperate for people to audition, so you know the clubs will only show their best shit, so if you’re going to get your fill of acapella or comedy or whatever else qualifies as “performance” these days, this is your best bet. At the very least, you’ll have some legitimate grounds to shit on these clubs once you start getting blasted with invites to their Facebook events.

Weekend Distractions CCXI

Thursday, April 3rd, 2014

THURSDAY
6:30pm- Tap & Drum @ The Tang
6:30pm- Print Making Tutorial w/ Dylan Callahan @ Print Making Studio
7:30pm- Cabaret Troupe Presents: Little Shop of Horrors @ Filene Hall
8:00pm- Steven Stern Reading @ Davis Auditorium

FRIDAY
7:30pm- Cabaret Troupe Presents: Little Shop of Horrors @ Filene Hall
8:00pm- So You Think You Can Capstone @ Dance Theatre
8:00pm- Eva Hagan Senior Clarinet Recital @ Zankel

SATURDAY
9:00am- 5K Cheetah Chase Fun Run @ Case Green
2:00pm and 8:00pm- So You Think You Can Capstone @ Dance Theatre
7:30pm- Cabaret Troupe Presents: Little Shop of Horrors @ Filene Hall
8:00pm- “On The Record” Performance and Dialogue @ Falstaff’s
9:00pm- North and South Dakotas CD Release Party (With Otter) @ Putnam Den

SUNDAY
3:00pm- “On The Record” Performance and Panel Discussion @ Falstaff’s
8:00pm- Quick Fix (Dave Slitzky, Will Sacks, Andrew Koehler) Senior Recital @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the comments