Cultural Enrichment

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Skidmore’s Guide to Super Bowl LI

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

mmmmm intimate
Let me get this straight, you go to Skidmore, you clicked on a SkidUnoffical link, and you chose a sports(ish) article?

You’re either really trying to impress that guy you met downtown who had the name of that team on a hat, you put your daddy’s fat stack of cash on the big game, or you’re horribly lost and confused. In that case, close the computer, spin around three times for good luck, lay down, dry-hump the floor, open your computer, and keep reading you brainwashed fuck.

If you haven’t heard, the dirty birds are taking on Brady and the boys this Sunday to compete for America’s ultimate prize; a chance to say “I’m going to Disney world” on live TV right after cracking skulls for five hours or however long that shit lasts.

In between all the chaos Lady Gaga will be performing the halftime show, which will give you the opportunity to actually recognize something on the screen for the first time in hours.

The game starts at 6:30 which should give you ample time to procrastinate all of your work and, finally, get blackout on a Sunday night for a sporting event you probably don’t give a shit about.

Whatever you do, don’t be that person at the party who is “just here for the commercials.” You’re not fooling anyone. 

For those of you still trying to figure out who to root for, consider this.

Reasons to root for the New England Patriots:

1. You’re from Boston or surrounding areas
2. A list has to have at least two things on it

Reasons to root for the Falcons:

1. You’re from Atlanta (but none of you are)
2. They’re the underdog and we like that, right?
3. They’ve never won a super bowl
4. They’re not the Patriots.
5. They play in a dome…that’s cool?
6. DOPE mascot

Reasons to root against the Patriots:

1. Brady and Trump are BFF’s
2. Coach Belicheck and Trump are BFF’s
3. Patriots Owner Robert Kraft and Trump are BFF’s
4. Do I really have to keep going?
5. Yes I do
6. Nevermind I don’t.
7. I think you get the picture
8. Ps deflategate
9. And also more cheating
10. Kthxbye

Reasons to root against the Falcons

1. You voted for trump.
2. You shouldn’t.

Enjoy the game!

WE BACK

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

What’s up daddies and children of daddies. Have you ever read The New York Times and thought, “Okay, but I wish this pertained to me specifically.”
Well look no further, dear and valued reader. It’s us, your past, present, and future favorite news source: Skidmore Unofficial. Due to a brief hiatus, you are either too senile to remember us or too young to know who we are. Our noble mission is to bring you, the skidmore student, the fun, sexy scoop on everything (and we mean everything) going on on and near our beautiful, fugly campus. This coverage is including but not limited to: concerts, club performances, speakers, open mics, comedy, campus events, sporting events, and whatever else we think you delicious skanks desperately need to know about. We pledge to maintain the highest journalistic and moral integrity while reserving the right to goof. Read to keep up with campus goings-ons, read to tell your friends that you read something today, or read because we seem like we might secretly be cute and you want to have a talking point if you ever meet us around campus.

We’re All Water

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Are we, though?

Are we, though?

Tomorrow, the campus Yoko Ono cult club Air Talk will be sponsoring an event at the Tang titled “We’re All Water,” billed as “an evening of Yoko Ono-inspired collaborative performances, art-making, music, films, and more.”

They’ll also be inaugurating Skidmore’s Wish Tree, an installation designed by Yoko Ono. The tree will be on the cement walkway between Case Center and Tang Museum and will be up till May 16. Here’s the press thingy:

Since the 1990s, Yoko Ono’s participatory art installation Wish Tree has appeared in locations all over the world. Wish Tree invites anyone to write down their personal wishes and tie them to the tree. Skidmore College’s Wish Tree will join an international network of Wish Trees, including installations at Oberlin College in Ohio, Museum of Modern Art in New York, Peggy Guggenheim Collection in Venice, Italy and Museum of Contemporary Art Tokyo in Japan. On May 16, all of Skidmore’s wishes will be collected and sent to Ono to be buried around her Imagine Peace Tower, an installation in Reykjavík, Iceland dedicated to the memory of her late husband John Lennon.  More than a million people have shared their wishes with Ono.

I know what you’re thinking. “YOKO BROKE UP THE BEATLES, FUCK HER BLAH BLAH BLAH.” Get over it, idiot. They would have broken up anyway and it’s probably good that it happened when it did because Let It Be—while at times marvelous—is a deeply flawed album.

BUT THAT’S JUST MY OPINION

Thursday April 18, 6pm @ Tang

(via Facebook)

Andrew Magazine Capstone Performance

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Styx

Styx

This weekend, human cat Andrew Magazine ’13 will be performing his dance capstone “Inside the Mountain.” Here’s his release:

“Inside the Mountain”, is an atmospheric performance littered with story and magic. It calls upon the part of the mind which lies somewhere between passive participation and active reception in an effort to unlock the referential imagination of the individual audience member. The piece draws upon many related sources which fall under the expansive category of [super]natural power, which include the “Grimm Brothers’ Book of Stories”, lush woods, sheer muscular ability, the mystical number “3”, and the deceptive quality of the mind’s cache.

Magazine and his dancers are nimble as fuck so go check it out and feel awful about how out of shape you’ve become, you repulsive, disgusting mess.

Friday April 19th, 8pm
Saturday April 20, 2pm & 8pm
@ Chapel

(via Facebook)

Venezuela After Chávez

Tuesday, April 16th, 2013

Former Venezuelan president and giant toe Hugo Chávez

Tomorrow, Model EU will be sponsoring a panel discussion on Venezuelan and regional politics in the wake of socialist President Hugo Chávez’s death in early March. The panel will include Professors Aldo Vacs (Government), Maria Fernanda Lander (Latin American Studies), Violeta Lorenzo (Foreign Languages and Literature), Mehmet Odekon (Economics), and Jordana Dym (History).

This is a veritable powerhouse team of international affairs scholars here at Skidmore, and the discussion is sure to be lively and interesting. Definitely worth checking out for those into that sort of thing.

Wednesday April 17, 8:30pm @ Gannett

An Evening With the Ballets Russes

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

HOW ELEGANT

This weekend, the dancers and musicians of Skidmore (the real musicians, not the idiots who drunkenly play shows at Falstaff’s) will be performing three classic ballets, paying tribute to Sergei Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes, the famous traveling ballet troupe of the early twentieth century.

They’ll be performing Mikhail Fokine and Frédéric Chopin’s Les Sylphides; Vaslav Nijinsky and Claude Debussy’s L’après-midi d’un faune; and Fokine and Igor Stravinsky’s Firebird. 

Maybe take a break from embarrassing yourself downtown and treat yourself to the Finer Things in Life? Or don’t, it’s up to you.

Tickets are free for Skidmore students and children, $5 for seniors and members of the Skidmore community, and $8 for adults.

Friday April 5, 8pm
Saturday April 6, 8pm
Sunday April 7, 3pm
@ Zankel

(via Zankel)

The Mythic Figure @ Schick Gallery

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
William-Tucker-Eve-Vishnu

I was told it would be okay to make a joke about this sculpture’s resemblance to a dinosaur turd, but I won’t because I’m a very mature writer

Tomorrow is the opening reception for “The Mythic Figure,” an exhibition of works by sculptors William Tucker and Ed Smith and painter Pamela Avril, at the Schick Gallery.

Apparently, this is the first sculpture show at the Schick, or at least the first in a very long time (I certainly don’t remember any other sculpture shows in my time here). It’s curated by John Galt (the art professor, not the famous objectivist revolutionary).

Also, there will probably delicious free food (the chicken satay/peanut sauce combo DESTROYED THE COMPETITION at the last Schick opening I attended).

Thursday April 4, 5:30pm @ Schick Gallery

(via Facebook)

Workshop/Lecture: Stereotypes and Multiracial Identity

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

9337_404338616329136_1962264045_nTomorrow, artist and speaker Kip Fulbeck will be on campus for two events. The first is a workshop titled “Social Identity in the Workplace” in Prof. Harper’s business class:

In this interactive workshop, participants explore various common non-verbal methods we use to quickly judge and evaluate others –often incorrectly. Using several playful exercises created and popularized by Kip Fulbeck over the past two decades, participants in small groups take turns visually assessing and being visually assessed, revealing not only our own innate biases but also opening up new channels of observation and communication.

Later, Fulbeck will speak at Gannett, in a lecture titled “Who Are You?”

Fulbeck is an author and professor of art at University of California, Santa Barbara. He has written extensively on issues of race and identity.

Workshop: Wednesday April 3, 2:30pm @ Bolton 281
Lecture: Wednesday April 3, 7pm @ Gannett

(via Facebook)

Melora Wolff Reading

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

Melora Wolff, channeling Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail

Tomorrow, author and professor of English, Melora Wolff, will read a selection of her nonfiction works at the Surrey Inn.

Wolff specializes in teaching nonfiction creative writing, and her work has been been published in Best American Fantasy, Brick, Salmagundi, The Gettysburg Review, The New York Times, and The Southern Review, among others.

Wednesday March 27, 8pm @ Surrey Inn

Lecture: SCOTUS and Citizens United

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

A dashing Jeffrey Clements

On Thursday, author and attorney Jeffrey Clements will deliver a lecture on the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark case, Citizens United v. Federal Electoral Commission. In 2010, SCOTUS ruled that unions and corporations are granted the same political speech rights as people, thus striking down years of campaign finance reforms.

Clements is a co-founder of Free Speech for People, an advocacy group dedicated to opposing corporate personhood. He has also worked as assistant attorney general and chief of the Public Protection and Advocacy Bureau in Massachusetts. His lecture (part of the Tang’s “We the People” project) is titled “Corporations Are Not People: Responding to the Supreme Court in ‘Citizens United.'”

This is a big week for SCOTUS, with opening arguments for Hollingsworth v. Perry—a case challenging the constitutionality of California’s ban on same-sex marriage—taking place today. Go to this lecture and ask some questions about it and appear smart.

Thursday March 28, 7pm @ Tang