Skidmore College has a seen a recent surge in the number of bias incidents reported, with most of the reports coming from Dean of Student Affairs Andrea Marcus.
The first incident occurred while Marcus was wandering through Wait Hall and overheard the song “Hustlin” by Rick Ross being played in a student’s room. She listened for about a minute before hearing the line, “It’s time to spread my thrills/Custom spinnin’ wheels/I ain’t drove in a week, them bitches stainless steel.”
“Of course I immediately rushed to my computer to report the Bias Incident,” Marcus said. “Such offensive language against women will not be tolerated.”
While at her computer, it occurred to Marcus that there might be other Bias Incidents in popular music that had yet to be reported.
“I downloaded a lot of rap music and put it on my Ipod,” Marcus said, “but I didn’t have time to listen to all of it right then. I had to go investigate a report that the word ‘hoe’ was being thrown around by a group of students trying to make a garden. Turns out that one was a false alarm.”
The second incident occurred the next day, while Marcus was running on the treadmill and the song “The Glory” by Kanye West came on her Ipod.
“I was kind of grooving to it until I heard him rap, ‘Yeah, that tuxedo might have been a little Guido,’” Marcus said. “Boom! Reported.”
Marcus has since reported 1,147 Bias Incidents after deciding to listen to the works of all rap artists from the past decade alphabetically. She is currently halfway through Big Daddy Kane.
While some students have found the numerous emails from Marcus annoying, others see them in a more positive light.
“Ms. Marcus has turned me on to some great music,” said sophomore Jacqueline Larsen. “I’d never heard of AZ or Big Gipp before. It’s like subscribing to a music blog.”
“These Bias Incidents sure are catchy,” Marcus said. “But offensive. But really catchy. The other day I caught myself singing ‘Nigga What, Nigga Who” by Jay-Z and I had to report a Bias Incident against myself. I’m going to recommend that I’m fired immediately. Such behavior will not be tolerated.”
