this is a test
Alright everyone, this is the week you get to prove yourself, to show your mettle and to impress all your friends. So break out your adderall contacts, NoDoz stockpiles, and that refillable mug.
After 4 years, I’ve learned that finals week isn’t about the tests or the papers at all. It’s really a self-pity contest. I hope, in preparation, you put off all your work and that you’ll now be forced to stay up all night, every night. But first, for extra points, make sure to get to the library and complain loudly to all your friends about how much work you have and how you cant wait to get soooo trashed. This is the perfect segue into a conversation about last weekend and how trashed you were. After reminiscing about that make sure to end the conversation with ‘ah well, fuck it’. Then saunter off to a computer, loudly smack the keys a few times, update facebook, and leave. Little known fact, during finals week, professors actually read your facebook and routinely respond and sympathize with student’s pitiful pleas and paper complaints, so make sure to do that.
That’s how you kick in the dick of finals week.
Good luck.
