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Weekend Distractions CXXXXI

Thursday, February 9th, 2017


5:00pm – “What in God’s Name? Religion and Politics in the 2016 Presidential Election” @ Palamountain
5:00pm – Soundmind @ Tang
5:30pm – Art and the Brain @ Filene (Canceled – will be rescheduled)
6:00pm – Middle East Documentary Series @ Spa
6:30pm – Upstate Collage Night @ Tang (postponed until Thursday, February 23, 6:30)


12:00pm – Call Your Legislators Calling Party @ Spa
6:00pm – Big Green Scream @ Williamson Sports Center
7:00pm – Comfest @ JKB
8:00pm – Bartók Series: New Orford String Quartet @ Zankel
10:00pm – Black History Month Open Mic Night
10:30pm – Saratoga Sixteen and Hip Hop Showcase @ Tang


10:00am – Skidmore Alpine Ski Carnival @ Gore
5:00pm – Wind Festival Chamber Ensembles @ Zankel
7:00pm – Yuanxiao Festival Celebration @ ICC
7:00pm – Comfest @ JKB
8:00pm – New York Woodwind Quintet @ Zankel


10:00am – Skidmore Alpine Ski Carnival @ Gore
2:00pm – Wind Festival Concert Band @ Zankel

Missing something? Let us know in the replies!

Skidmore’s Guide to Super Bowl LI

Sunday, February 5th, 2017

mmmmm intimate
Let me get this straight, you go to Skidmore, you clicked on a SkidUnoffical link, and you chose a sports(ish) article?

You’re either really trying to impress that guy you met downtown who had the name of that team on a hat, you put your daddy’s fat stack of cash on the big game, or you’re horribly lost and confused. In that case, close the computer, spin around three times for good luck, lay down, dry-hump the floor, open your computer, and keep reading you brainwashed fuck.

If you haven’t heard, the dirty birds are taking on Brady and the boys this Sunday to compete for America’s ultimate prize; a chance to say “I’m going to Disney world” on live TV right after cracking skulls for five hours or however long that shit lasts.

In between all the chaos Lady Gaga will be performing the halftime show, which will give you the opportunity to actually recognize something on the screen for the first time in hours.

The game starts at 6:30 which should give you ample time to procrastinate all of your work and, finally, get blackout on a Sunday night for a sporting event you probably don’t give a shit about.

Whatever you do, don’t be that person at the party who is “just here for the commercials.” You’re not fooling anyone. 

For those of you still trying to figure out who to root for, consider this.

Reasons to root for the New England Patriots:

1. You’re from Boston or surrounding areas
2. A list has to have at least two things on it

Reasons to root for the Falcons:

1. You’re from Atlanta (but none of you are)
2. They’re the underdog and we like that, right?
3. They’ve never won a super bowl
4. They’re not the Patriots.
5. They play in a dome…that’s cool?
6. DOPE mascot

Reasons to root against the Patriots:

1. Brady and Trump are BFF’s
2. Coach Belicheck and Trump are BFF’s
3. Patriots Owner Robert Kraft and Trump are BFF’s
4. Do I really have to keep going?
5. Yes I do
6. Nevermind I don’t.
7. I think you get the picture
8. Ps deflategate
9. And also more cheating
10. Kthxbye

Reasons to root against the Falcons

1. You voted for trump.
2. You shouldn’t.

Enjoy the game!


Tuesday, April 19th, 2016


What: Earth Day Festival, Spring 2016



Who: Empress Of, Sun Ra Arkestra, Palm, Joy Again, Emefe, The Ladles, and Campo



Where: South Park Green @ Skidmore College



When: Saturday, April 23rd @ 12:00 PM



Skidmore Family Old & Young,

Come out this weekend to experience a world where Afro-Futurism meets Dream Pop!

Big ups to: WSPN, Skidmore Environmental Action Club, Skidmore SEC & Lively Lucy’s Official for presenting this precursor to F U N D A Y.

Look at this website, Empress Of, and then watch this incredible video, Space is the Place.

See y’all out on the green.

It’s Not You, It’s Me

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

How I See It

It’s not you, it’s me.

I’ve been negligent.

I haven’t been writing everyday (and by everyday I mean three days per week).

I haven’t been exciting, or at least I haven’t provided you with enough interesting content to sustain you.

I haven’t been changing things up (If I write one more post about what’s going on in Gannett on Thursday…).

I haven’t been the person I promised you I would be when I took the Skidmore Unofficial Oath: to write, whether satirically or otherwise, but more importantly, to write well.  The Lord said write for Skidmore Unofficial and I did. Kind of.

Click to continue »


Saturday, February 6th, 2016

I hope Eli still has chowder breath

Every senior SEC girl’s favorite wet dream (do girls have wet dreams??), CAMPER is playing Fallstaff’s tonight. I talked to some of them last night at DA’s and no band member ever remembered encountering me on Case Walkway in 2012. It’s okay though because I’m a self-actualized, empowered, post-pubescent senior woman now! Yeah!

HAP is also opening. I hear singer Ned Porter is catch (wink face hehe lol)

8 PM aka in 10 min

SEC Presents: Camper and (some) HAP

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

Hold onto your hats (or maybe more importantly, your pants… Lookin’ at you seniors), Skidmore. This Saturday, both Camper and two members of HAP are going to be coming through Falstaffs at 8pm. This is fucking great news.

Jake, Stephen, and Eli of Camper

Jake, Stephen, and Eli of Camper

Underclassmen (and seniors who lived under a rock freshmen year): Both Camper and HAP are bands made up of Skidmore alumni. They also set very high expectations for good music and fun for our college careers in 2013.

Here is a min-interview with Camper members Eli Dreÿfus, Jake Mazur-Warren, and Stephen Yell to talk about their new album, Stop Breathing Like That.

SU: When and how did the three of you get together at Skidmore?

Eli: Oh snap! Uhhh, me and Jake played music together in high school… Me and Stephen met on the roof of the Tang on the last night of Pre-O. We just talked about chord progressions and food for so many hours together playing music became a no-brainer. We played in a bunch of bands together before Camper. You can NEVER have too many bands.

Jake: Stephen and I met freshman year when we were both bright-eyed and bushy browed… Outside of Penfield he whispered to me the secret to being his friend (ask him if you want more details), and our eyes just got brighter from there. Also our brows got bushier.

Stephen: I met these guys freshman year. We’ve been in a ton of bands together since then, and they’re two of my greatest friends in the universe.

SU: Which professors are you hoping will make it to the show?

Eli: In my wildest dreams, Jumpin’ Joel Smith, Deb “negative space” Hall, and Anthony “cancer-blaster” Holland would make it to the show.  More realistically, if Flip Philips DOESN’T show up then why did we even come back?!

SU: How would you describe your sound/style?

Eli: When my mom’s friends ask me what kind of music I play, I say that it’s fast and loud and happy.  What I don’t tell them is that it’s also RAW AF—mom friends can’t handle that kind of truth.

Jake: Garage pop! Frantic and high-energy.

Stephen: It’s pretty emotional and cathartic (at least for us), in a fast-catchy-frantic sort of way.

SU: What made you decide to get together and do another album?

Eli: Okay well we had already *written* this record before recording it became a real conversation… Then I moved to New York and that sorta left us at a crossroads: either we don’t record the album, slowly lose touch with each other, and die in a hole, or we do record the album and stay best friends forever.

Jake: Camper has always been about fun live music that makes people happy and makes them move. We tried to capture those feelings on this album, and are really proud of it, but for us there’s nothing that quite compares to playing our songs together live. Now we get to have both!

Stephen: When Eli moved to New York, we knew it was gonna be tough to keep things moving. I’m really glad we we’re able to make it work. It shows how much we all love the band. Working on this album was a great excuse for us all to hang out and stay in touch… We had a blast making it.

SU: How is this album similar to/different from your music from a few years ago?

Eli: At Camper practice, we say, “The best kinds of songs are really really loud and really really fast.” We put out some music in college that was ~pretty~ loud and ~decently~ fast, but I think all three of us believed that we could top ourselves.  It’s hard to stop writing songs when you keep having feelings all the damn time.

SU: How much of your decision to come back on the 6th was influenced by Chowderfest?

Jake: Well people who know us know that there are few things that make us happier than being up to our elbows in chowder. Let’s just say we aren’t complaining about our first show back at Skidmore falling on our favorite Saratoga holiday. You’ll definitely find us out on the streets Saturday inhaling chowder – I know I won’t be holding back… I’m putting out my vote for Max London’s as winner this year. You heard it here!

Stephen: We actually come to Chowderfest every year. It’s one of our favorite Saratoga traditions. We’re big fans of chowder.

There you have it, folks. In addition, Ned Porter and Sam Smith of HAP will be opening. Lots to look forward to.

Where: Falstaffs

When: Saturday (2/6) at 8pm

SEC Presents: Ratking & Malportado Kids

Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

Who: Ratking // Malportado Kids

What: Rap Show

Where: Falstaffs (fuck)

When: Friday, January 29th, 8:00 PM

Ratking, New York City bred rap group of XL Records and the Letter Racer collective, will be playing on Skidmore campus this Friday. It’s going to be (lit) great. After playing LA’s newest contemporary art museum, The Broad, and before going on tour with Animal Collective, Ratking will come out of Skidmore’s eardrums.

The group consists of frontman Wiki, who recently released a solo-mixtape titled Lil Me, rapper and vocalist, Hak, and producer and (kind of) rapper, Sporting Life, who released his own mixtape titled 55 5’s.

I know nothing about Malportado Kids.

To whoever is in charge: Please, please, please make sure that Falstaff’s speakers don’t (1) blow out (2) stop working (3) suck, as we have seen in the past.

In an attempt to diversify their entertainment booking on campus, SEC has successfully provided Skidmore with a broad range of shows this semester. That’s pretty cool — So thanks, SEC.

See y’all at the show.

Are you there God? It’s me, the only person left on the third floor of the Lucy Scribner Library during finals week

Friday, December 18th, 2015

Me rn

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I have watched the trailer of “Joy” thirteen times, scoured the Internet for evidence of Mary-Kate Olsen’s wedding (if you haven’t heard, there were bowls of cigarettes), and Googled “Macauly Culkin 2015,” “Jennifer Grey nose,” and “Scorpio personality traits.” I have eaten a slice of pizza from the Spa and chugged two Death Wish Coffees. I have thought about checking myself into the Mental Health unit of the Saratoga Hospital just because.

Click to continue »

December Weather Report: It’s A Bit Warm Out, No?

Tuesday, December 15th, 2015


Checkup: Ode to Global Warming

A routine medical checkup assumes that you care about your general health. Casually glancing at your (Moleskine) planner indicates that you probably pay some form of attention to your studies. A cathartic vape inhale reminds you that you’re trying to cut out cigarettes. A wildly broad interpretation of the emotional state of Skidmore’s student population prompts you to take a few steps back – something we all need.

And while we all have individual experiences at school, we’re all here feeling the same thing. As in, we’re really not all that individual. We all wake up, stare at the brand name on our coffee cups [if you’re sustainable, it’s a coffee traders logo on a reusable mug and if you’re lazy it’s a weird mermaid Starbucks stamp], wonder why Skidmore has such a great reputation as a liberal arts institution, ask our parents for money, cringe at the sight of an iPhone 4, then resign ourselves to the sterile cold of the Lucy Scribner library.

Freshmen are worried about getting laid so that they can tell their friends about it. Sophomores are conflicted about whether or not to get into a “serious relationship.” Juniors are trying to get out of that wildly unsuccessful “serious relationship”(helpful hint: studying abroad is a literal ticket out). Seniors are still worried about getting laid so that they can tell their friends about it.

In a good way, the last month of the semester is a reminder that life here is cyclical — A gift of sorts. Because what’s college if your elders can’t relate with you over winter break? Time is apparently unkind.

If it makes you feel better, we all are in this together. We’re all part of the Skidmore army that gets scoffed at by the bitter baristas at Uncommon, troll Skidmore News comment sections, treks through the case walkway trenches. We fight our internal wars when we’re too stoned outside of a residency hall.

We all fit into this little niche, which is pretty fucking cool. Embrace its intricacies before you’re forced to tolerate them. So perk up, finish those finals. You’ll see the couch at home soon.

The umbrella emotion that this brief weather report exists to convey, consists of wondering why you find yourself in DA’s for the third night in a row, contradicting the conversation you just had with your friends about never going back. Well Skidmore College, I’m here to inform you that your four-year tenure is just that: another beer stain on the floor of DA’s. Yikes

One semester in the books.

EE 1

Freshman, this will all make more sense next semester when you realize school’s not “just like camp!”


Friday, December 11th, 2015



But seriously, there is no better way to:

a) Pretend your finals aren’t real

b) Dance aggressively

c) Black out (just kidding)

d) Probably hear some type of rhythmic banging

e) Celebrate the end of the semester/the fact that global warming is making it totally bearable to be here

Wear your halloween costume. See you at 9.