Skidmore College, what a time. New friends, manicured lawns, buildings that look like a 70s throwback spaceship, cool quirkly classes, and young, beautiful, 18 to 21 year olds socializing everywhere. I didn’t know what to expect from Skidmore when I first set foot here. I have this distinct memory of feeling like an outsider in my pre-orientation, of feeling judged, labeled, lonely, and sad. You go from feeling on top of the world senior year of high school, to feeling pretty fucking lost. But things change of course, and as a soon to be graduate, well let me spit some corny, cliche, but pretty worthwhile knowledge at ya -
1. Try everything once / Put yourself out there.
You seriously have nothing in the world to lose. You are at one of the most comfortable, beautiful and safe spaces on Earth, aside from say, an angel’s womb. Don’t worry about your major, or what you have to get done, or what your parents are telling you to do, or what you want to be after college, you don’t even know what you want to be IN college! Curious about it? Try it. Think he’s/she’s cute? Flirt your face off. Wanna audition for it? Do it. Wonder what it feels like? Touch it. Is it salty? Taste it. Is it fun? I don’t know, BUT THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
2. Find you, be you.
There are a lot of different types of people you can be at Skidmore. You can slap on some salmon shorts, a geometric tank top/golf shirt and bro out, some skinny jeans, moccasins, ironic salvation army T and be super hip, or walk around with no shoes on and listen to your headphones like your really feeling the audio vibes – it’s not impossible to look the part. But when push comes to shove, any real person can spot a fake and being a fake sucks because you have no substance. You’re a shell, and shells are boring. Shells are like shitty art hanging in coffee stores – you get exactly what you see, and well, it’s pretty terrible. The Man, society, and consumer culture will constantly shove down your throats what they want you to be, and everyday when you look at your fleshy face in the mirror you’ve gotta ask yourself is this REALLY me? You’re at the incredibly unique time to scrape away at that center inside your chest and figure out what you value, enjoy, are inspired by, and motivated to do. Don’t do something because other people are telling you to do it, do it because you can think of no other option that would make you happy and fulfilled. Be honest with yourself.
3. Get hot and bothered.
By this I mean, get PASSIONATE. Find what you love to do. My dad said to me, “Son, I don’t care what you do in college, just make sure it’s something you can for 10 hours a day, and that when you sleep, you’re thinking about how you can’t wait to wake up and do it again.” Finding out what you love to do is hard because sometimes you feel like you’re not having fun. But, you know you love it though when you don’t settle for the immediate payoff. You work and pick yourself up time and time again because in the long run you are just smothered in fields of blooming joy. Go get ‘em. Make your vocation, your vacation.
4. Forgive.
People make mistakes. You will make mistakes. You will get real angry at them, and that anger will fester inside you like mold inside a 3-month old price chopper salsa jar. Empathize, and know that forgiveness is one of the hardest human acts for a reason – because it’s worth it.
5. Don’t be a bigot.
There is nothing uglier than someone with a closed mind. Keep it open, way open, but for the love of god don’t take the hinge off the door. Just keep it wide enough for the room to get some good circulation. Surprise yourself about what others have to say. Listen more, say less.
6. “I don’t associate myself with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.”
It’s a quote from Bridesmaids, no offense, it’s one of my favorite movies of all time. Megan says it to Annie after she explains how people threw fireworks at her in high school. The statement is pretty true. Figure out your shit, you can only pity yourself for so long. Whatever it is, suss it out, and deal with it so you can turn the page. I’m not saying you just forget things forever, but eventually ‘it’ has to be a memory that teaches and empowers you, rather than one that keeps you back. Talk to someone, like a trained professional, like the counseling center, like it’s free, like what are you waiting for.
7. Have some motha-flippin fun.
Wow. yup. If you aren’t having fun, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Laugh at yourself constantly. “Life can only be sad for so long, until it’s hilarious.” – wise words from a very good friend of mine. Find some joy, hold a hand, spread some love. Play a ton of games. Play charades on the subway, buy fruit by the foot, ask the workers at burgess about their day, swim at the hudson, get chipotle, feed the abundance of ducks at congress parks your pizza crusts, sing very loudly in the tang museum, have a ton of potlucks, put spaghetti on your face, play video games till your eyes hurt, tell your friends you love them, have no regrets – (unless you fuck up, then see 5).
8. Don’t just make it, make it meaningful.
Well reader, I guess this is up for you to decide what exactly this all means.
with love,
have fun,
stay true,
fear nothing.
