Community Expresses Outrage Over Nudity on Campus
Written by Jeremiah Budin on April 28th, 2009SARATOGA SPRINGS—Hundreds of Skidmore students congregated on the campus green this Saturday for the school’s annual “Fun Day.” The so-called “fun” activities that the student body engaged in included smoking on marijuana cigarettes, chugging on alcohol beers, and exposing their naked bodies.
There were no consequences.
After hearing about this blatant disregard of indecent exposure laws, several Saratoga residents expressed outrage.
“This is a disgrace,” said Saratoga resident Martin Patterson. “Nudity is illegal. These kids think that they can do whatever they want and get away with it. They have no idea how tough it’s going to be in the real world, where taking off all of your clothes can result in getting fired from your job or ejected from your son’s little league game.”
Other residents called for action from the Saratoga Police Department, which was warned about the potential nudity, but stood idly by.
“What a joke,” said Saratoga resident Shirley Stewart. “It’s against the rules to be naked on Main Street but in the Skidmore green anything goes. The next time one of my children gets in trouble for getting naked in his second grade classroom I’m going to remind them of this double standard they set.”
“These laws are in place for a reason,” said Saratoga resident John Borstein. “They’re to protect the children. Not that there are any children on the Skidmore campus. Actually, I heard there were some children operating the bouncy castle. Why weren’t they being protected?”
Borstein added, “This is conclusive proof that one hundred per cent of the nudity in the Saratoga area comes from the Skidmore campus.”
Skidmore sophomore Andrew Cantor, who is news editor of the student newspaper, witnessed some of the “Fun Day” nudity.
He did not endorse it.
“For a school with such a rich academic history, it’s disappointing to see,” Cantor said. “Nudity is something that happens, but it should be confined to certain places, such as the shower, or—holy shit, look at that girl’s boobies!”
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okay, this is just ridiculous and immature.
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Haha – cute! It’s like a little Onion!
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Skidmore is private property…. nudity is allowed on private property.
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note the last tag, people.
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hahahahahahahahaha
this was hilarious
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hahah yessssss
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Like someone above me mentioned, Skidmore is PRIVATE property.
I’m sure no Skidmore student would go downtown, get into someone’s backyard and ask them to put their clothes on.
Likewise, the Saratoga community has to let us be.
If they don’t want to see nudity, pot smoking and other harmless-but-illegal-for-stupid-and-pointless-reasons acts, then all they have to do is STAY OFF the Skidmore campus.
They come looking for all this stuff, we don’t take it to them.
Freaking religious, puritanical fundamentalists!
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Just to clear up any confusion, nobody from the Saratoga community actual complained about nudity. This is a satire article (like The Onion) making fun of the Saratogian article about 4/20. So, just to reiterate, this is not real and the nudity on fun day is not a real issue.
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Let’s hope there is plenty of nudity next year.
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agreed! we don’t go to your house when you have a picnic saratogaians! if you don’t agree with our fun and entertainment don’t come and sit on your lawn chairs and watch! and btw we all know what y’all did in the 60’s!
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Dear most recent Guest,
You’re an idiot. Note Jeremiah Budin’s (the author of the aricle) comment clarifying that it’s a joke. You’re a joke.
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Wow, private parts, that everyone has-I didn’t know they could be so scary! If you don’t like looking at them then don’t go…