A New York State Fire Marshall will be doing inspections on campus early this week. Beginning Monday a large man, most likely with a moustache, will be checking to make sure none of us are in violation of fire codes. If Mr. Marshall does in fact take offence to the firework collection in your closet, or the candle and gasoline sculpture decorating your window seat be prepared to write a check. Inspections include walking through each Northwoods and Scribner apartment, as well as rooms (selected at random) in each of the eight dorms. Inspections begin Monday and will continue throughout the week.

And while I’m not sure how much the Fire Marshall cares about your Bacardi collection you might want to do some hiding—don’t trust anyone over 30 ya know? Smokey the Bear is most likely going to chaperoned by some sort of ResLife quasi-official so you might want to keep the stash in your laundry basket or something like that.

Continue reading after the jump for a straight-from-ResLife-list of things that make little balls of excited spittle form in the corner of a violation hungry Fire Marshall’s mouth.

• You cannot have anything hanging from the ceiling or over a doorway.
• Only two strings of lighting can be connected as one.
• Wall decor cannot connect from one wall to another.
• Only 10% of your total wall space can be covered by decorative materials.
• Wall decor cannot cover or even border any fire safety equipment (sprinklers, smoke detectors, etc.).
• Many window curtains were found as being a fire hazard in the past and, therefore, a violation.
• No candles, incense, ashtrays, or cigarette butts!  This includes candles or ashtrays that are just for decoration
• Furniture or belongings cannot block the egress in any doorways/walkways/stairways.
• Beds cannot be lofted on risers, cinder blocks, etc., or in a window seat.
• Extension cords are not permitted.  However, circuit breakers/surge protectors are permitted if they do not have more than six outlets.
• Take out all trash and recycling on a continuous basis.  Trash and clutter in rooms/apartments is considered a fire hazard.
• A friendly reminder that pets are not allowed, except for fish.
• The use and storage of food appliances are restricted to kitchen areas only.
• Nothing should be left on stovetops unless they are in use.
• Additional notes for apartments:
• Access to fuse boxes, etc. cannot be blocked by decor, furniture, or other items.
• Grills, lighter fluid, fuels, etc. must be stored outdoors, 15 feet away from your building.
• Garden apartments in Northwoods have sprinklers under the entry staircase.  Thus this area cannot be stacked with items.  There should be at least an 18″ clearance.
• Fire extinguishers are located under your kitchen sink.  Please be sure they can be accessed easily and are not blocked by any of your supplies.