A Mob of Angry Moms is Imminent

Written by Executive Editor on March 7th, 2017

Skidmore has hit a new low.

And no, we don’t mean the “placing juniors in wiecking” type of low.

You’ve probably heard of Oprah by now. Not that she’s speaking at graduation, but just heard of her.

But she is speaking at Graduation and news broke today that Skidmore is only allowing each senior six tickets for the event, according to the email sent out today by Senior Class President Madison Plummer:

“Due to the enthusiasm that has been generated following the announcement of this year’s honorary degree recipients (Wes Moore! Ann Tisch! Oprah!), Skidmore will institute a policy whereby admission tickets for seats in the amphitheater of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) will be REQUIRED for each guest except for children under the age of 2. (LOOPHOLE?) The College’s first priority is to provide seats for our graduates and their families based on the allowable seating capacity within the Amphitheater. Therefore, a maximum of six (6) tickets will be allocated to graduating seniors for admission of family members and friends.”

First of all, I’m sorry but Wes Moore! and Ann Tisch! do not deserve exclamation points after their names. Oprah might be able to get away with it. Secondly, what the fuck Skidmore!?! Where the hell am I supposed to sit Meemaw and Gramps? Are they supposed to sit on the lawn where I took shrooms at the Blink-182 concert?

Once again not shocked, but disappointed how Skidmore handles their policy. But, are anxiously awaiting the mob of angry moms to be unleashed onto campus.

And lastly, a shameless plug, if you have any extra tickets hmu at Editor@SkidmoreUnofficial.com


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