Forbes: Contrary to Everything You Thought You Knew, Skidmore is Located in Northampton, MA

Written by Rowley on August 2nd, 2012

BREAKING

In a shocking turn, Forbes is reporting that Skidmore College is located in Northampton, Massachusetts, not Saratoga Springs, New York, as is commonly believed.

The article in question gives no indication as to why Skidmore has moved, but we here at Skidmore Unofficial offer several theories:

  • A noted James Taylor fan, Glotzbach wanted to be closer to Tanglewood.
  • The reality that we experience (in which Lucy Scribner started her school in Saratoga Springs), has been breached by inter-dimensional troublemakers, leading to the creation of an alternate reality, in which Ms. Scribner instead settled in Northampton. Science!
  • Once upon a time, Glotzbach made a pact with an evil witch: in return for everlasting life, he would agree to marry her, but in a moment of hubris, he spurned her and cast her into the depths of Albany. Eons later, she has returned to seek her revenge by banishing Skidmore to the far-off Berkshire hinterlands.
  • “Tax reasons”

Have you heard any rumors? Tell us in the comments.

 

2 Comments so far ↓

  1. More importantly says:

    The first thing they say about us is Wafflefest. I think that’s a good thing.

  2. lol says:

    Ratatat rawks.

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