Some of you are new here, and maybe you haven’t heard about the Skidmore bacchanal that is Halloween season. Well, it has begun, and we’re not quite at the epicenter of it yet. Maybe some of you are dreading the chaos that ensues as liquor bottles and candy corn vomit begin to collect scattered piles in and around of of your dorm building, wiry freshman girls probe for LSD in hushed tones the week before Chance the Rapper, inevitably falling into the mud/horseshit mixture that is the ground at Stables at least once, feeling the need to flaunt your creative presence at this school through some witty costume, and the overall knowledge that by the end of this month you will have lost at least 75% of your IQ and still have the November-April ice age to look forward to. Maybe you’re just hibernating and ordering from Char Koon. Maybe you’re even focusing on classes. That’s also totally acceptable.
As for me, I live for the dirty fucking mess of Skidmore in October. As much as it is a debaucherous display of excess, you would be a fool not to relish it. Honestly, it tickles my heart to see flushed faces with paint on them, or a power ranger and duck making out, or just the subtle beauty of a discarded Pizza 7 box in front of Wait. The fall at Skidmore unifies us, and allows us all to be disgusting that we miss so dearly within us. Maybe you don’t like going out – at least walk in north woods or do some cool shit with pumpkin. Hey, rent one of the bikes from the library on the weekend and escape the zombie apocalypse that is campus in the autumn! Take this opportunity to be the fool you know you want to be, because them leaves only turn four times in Saratoga. Based on previous experience, I have designed a detailed guide to help you make the most of your October
HOW TO HAVE A FREAKY OCTOBER:
1. Just take pictures. Take freaky pictures, take cliche pictures, take awful ugly pictures, take pictures climbing trees, take pictures doing playful shit with leaves, take pictures. I know that you would rather not be like everyone else (we are all like that here, so nice try), but its quite possible that you won’t remember why you ever came to this school by the time it is December, so use these photos to remind yourself.
2. Suck up your pride and go to Stables. Maybe you can tell yourself you are just attending to make fun of people and accidentally end up having fun and not tell anyone. If it sucks, go visit those horses in the barn. You’ll probably get yelled at but at least you got to touch a pony and the night wasn’t a TOTAL waste.
3. Do the costume thing one night. You don’t even need to plan it—RESIST THE PRESSURE! But I’d be willing to bet that you will think of something, and when you do, act! Seriously, you could go as a caveman wearing nothing but a dishrag and would gain more respect than if you were the captain of the hockey team here.
4. Go to the Pulse and Accents mini-jam on October 31st in Gannett. These things are a whole cornucopia of fun—bring drinks if you need to, and get your jam on. Last time I went to one of these things I had a 40 in my hand and danced like I was in the basement of Paddock. They are better than you may think.
5. Attend a public and well-funded Saratoga event. Reap the benefits of living in a nicer town than you will live in for years after you graduate. There are bound to be a few. There’s often free food (Mrs. London’s hot chocolate usually happens). The best part about town events is you get to see all the weird high school youths you never saw before, rambling the streets in small confused clusters, black hoodies and brown uggs. It’s really quite exciting.
6. GIRLS. Wear a mens sweater with no pants at all. It’s exhilarating and it’s okay, because fall.
7. Smash a pumpkin. Smash it to pay tribute to your self-pitying days as a sophomore in high school, sporting high top converse and crying yourself to sleep. But really, last year some girls threw a pumpkin out of the window of Wait and it was beautiful. But look out below, because causing concussions is definitely not punk.
8. Go to the tacky mansion on Broadway! You know, the one that is entirely own and run by small dogs who sit in thrones. You probably know which one I am talking about. That house is hosting an event on the 31st from 3:30-9:30 pm during which they will be handing out 12 chocolate bars with hidden $100 bills inside. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Also there will be cider donuts and apple cider.